


Yandere!Real Ciel Oneshot Collection

by AngelOfMystery



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: ? - Freeform, A moody yandere kid who has killed a person before, Again, Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, And Astre being like, And letting them free, And wrestling with your twin in order to get there, Arguing, Astre being a happy bean, Astre being a scared tired bean, Astre misses his friends, At least comfort happened, Basem, Bathing/Washing, Being taken care of even during an argument, Blindfolds, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood Loss, Blood Sharing, Bottling emotions, But as costume choiced, Canon Era, Captured, Chains, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Childishness, Choking, Ciel Phantomhive Being an Asshole, Ciel being a somnophiliac, Ciel can't take a hint if it smacked him in the face, Ciel going :only I can buy things for you, Ciel going through undertakers medicine cabinet, Ciel slipped up, Ciel when he was still a fluffy cute bean, Comfort, Confession gone sleep, Creepy, Creepy Fluff, Delusions, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Dreams and Nightmares, Drug Use, Dungeon, Dungeon prison, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotions, Escalation, Escape, Extreme sleep deprivation, Eye Trauma, Flashbacks, Flooooofffff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Funny and Angst, Gags, Guilt-tripping, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Happy times, He is canonly tired all the time, Heartwarming, Hide and Seek, Hoping for Stockholm to happen, Hurt/Comfort, If it also didnt involve being locked in a creepy basement, Imprisonment, Insanity, It would be cute, Jealousy, Just Ciel thinking back, Kinda Cielizzy?, Kinda? It's in ciel's POV, Kissing, Lot of blood, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Love songs, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Manipulative!Rciel, Misunderstandings, Mood Swings, Muscle Relaxants, Night Terrors, Nightmares, No really they do it almost the entire chapter, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not any slepe deprivation, OCiel falls asleep twice in the same chapter, OCiel suffers, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Ociel being scared for his life as usual, Ociel going along cause his neck is sensitive, Ociel is too precious for this world, Of the century, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Paralysis, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Poor Ociel, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Prison, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Punishment, Punishment for everyone, Q/A is open!, RCiel being a batshit crazy individual, RCiel is a jerk, RCiel is a moody kid, RCiel is royally pissed, RIP, Rciel charming all the adults to be with his brother, Real ciel and our ciel cuddling, Real ciel being a manipulative yandere, Really weird bonding but its there, Rebellion, Resistance, Revelations, Scared for his life! Ociel, Sebastian is mad as hell, Self-Esteem Issues, Sensation Play, Sensory Deprivation, She's a good child, Shopping, Shopping with your yandere twin, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepiness, Sleepovers, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy babies, Sleepy boi, Sneakiness, Sneaking Around, Some Plot, Supportive Elizabeth, Tfw when your twin sneaks out on you, That could be an ASMR, The brother complex is real, They growing up, Though it didnt do any good in the end, Threats, Trauma, Trauma For Everyone!, Truth, Twincest, Twins, Twisted, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unconditional Love, Underage Drug Use, Undertaker: what are you doing?, Unrequited Love, Unrequited Lust, Valentine's Day, Vampires, Warm bed and send him to heaven with all the cake and sweets he could ever want, Werewolves, With his family, Yandere, a childish yandere megalomaniac sadist, and a bish, and getting caught, anyway, as always, attempt at fluff, blushing: for recreational purposes, but Platonic - Freeform, but for how long?, but without the sex, chained to a bed, ciel - Freeform, ciel wakes up and is like, he dont deserve this, horribly, its here, i’m not sure if i’m too angsty for this, i’m only two requests in and i already want to wrap Astre up in a soft, just generally, just imagine it, lol, oh my, ok, omg, once again, pettiness leads to suffering, physical affection, poor diedriche, rciel is crazy, sleeping in your parents bed, someone finally said it, sometimes, somewhere...., this can’t end well, threatening behaviour, uhh, whoo, yay, ”Bathe him and send him to My rooms”-trope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 38,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfMystery/pseuds/AngelOfMystery
Summary: I just really like obsessive twins, okay? Mostly headcanonish, despite the many, many signs of real!Ciel being a yandere, Yana-sensei hasn't revealed his motivations much.Enjoy Our!Ciel's suffering, and Real!Ciel's insanity!
Relationships: Ciel Phantomhive & Real Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive/Real Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 222
Kudos: 264





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Btw, Our!Ciel is called Astre in this work.

Astre heaved in exhaustion, pain, and a combination of the two. The events of the past days were too much to handle right now.

To summarize, Ciel had gone completely insane after Undertaker resurrected him, and he had decided he wanted Astre. To be considered just some property, like a pet, was jarring to the younger twin's mind. Despite having been so strong, so brave, having sacrificed so much, he was still nothing other than a sick, sweet and adorable little brother to Ciel. No, not Ciel, Ciel was earen by Sebastian, the one roaming the world right now is just a broken body depending on memories to function. Memories were a feeble replacemenr for the soul.

After he and his ( _family)_ servants had gone into hiding, he had managed to get three out of the four blood suppliers before he had been captured. He had managed, through tears and blood, to convince the servants to run away, to plan somewhere else or to save themselves, he didn't care which as long as they didn't end up in danger.

He had been brought to court, only to find out his dead twin was "adopting" him. He had been saved from prison, only to end up in a far, far worse cage. A gilded cage, with soft beds, good food and servants at his every beck and call, but a cage no less. He was reminded of that now, the bars of the cage oppreasing and suffocating him, the cage made out of his mockery of a brother holding his cheeks tenderly, looking at him as though simply looking at him brought him greater pleasure than going to heaven.

Astre couldn't make a sound, his voice abandoning him as they looked at one another, living and undead staring at each other in the eye. Before long, the undead brought the living close to himself, protecting him against the world with his body. This position brought back so many memories, good, bad, and terrible. He smirked twistedly, splaying his hand against the heaving chest of _his_ little brother, feeling the warmth and the butterfly beats of the frightened heart within. His dearest, his most precious raised a shaky hand against the colder one over his heart. This earned the boy a kiss of approval, he should initiate contact more in the future. A future shared by the two of them, in this manor, in this room, on this bed.

Well, at least with that chain on the younger brother's ankle. Ciel smiled at the handiwork of Polaris, keeping the precious brother safe in their childhood bed.

He pulled the spare against him more and moved them to lay down in the blankets and pillows, cuddling him in a position so similar to the one they had been in so many times, it made Ciel almost tear up. He kissed the younger on the forehead instead, squeezing him until he was gasping for breath, stuttering out a name that would look just as good carved on his flesh as it sounded coming from his mouth.

"C-ciel...." 

He hummed, satisfied, reluctantly pulling away to address the younger twin with some form of dignity, despite his craving to coo loving, soft words to him all day, all night, all week, all month, however long it took for Stockholm Syndrome to kick in and make him respond to his love.

"Yes, Astre?" He couldn't help the affectionate wobble in his tone, saying that forbidden name, the one that had been locked away for almost four years.

The said brother flinched and looked down, guilt filling him, probably. He put his tiny, porcelain hands against his chest in an absolutely pitiful attempt to push him away. Ciel decided to indulge him, scooting away just a little, and immediately regretting it, feeling the amount of warmth he lost from this single centimeter apart. He really wished there was a way to keep in contact all the time. He stopped indulging, pulling the protesting younger brother even closer than before, cooing with affection.

The affection stopped immediately when a small, clear voice sounded in the little air between the two of them, "Leave me alone, you're not Ciel!" "Excuse me?" He said, livid, squeezing the younger's face between his palms, causing him to cry out a response.

"You're not my Ciel! You're j-just his body running on memories! My Ciel is in Sebastian!" He was tearing up, small drops sliding on Ciel's fingers, and the Earl would have licked them away if his brother were being good.

But he wasn't, so all he got was rough fingers, squeezing his little neck, until the string of foul words was cut short. He placed their foreheads together, seeing the way their pale skin paled even further as the younger twin looked in his eyes. Seeing nothing but darkness and twisted affection, he closed his eyes, until the older twin suddenly let go.

He gasped and coughed, twisting his fingers in Ciel's nightshirt, the older brother petting his hair until he calmed down, and looked at the volatile Bizarre Doll. The said Doll sighed and tutted, looking so big brotherly and disappointed that Astre's words died in his throat out of old habit.

"Now now, i know that, Astrey. It isn't an excuse to reject me, however," he brought them close to one another. "At least i am still a part of your big brother. Are you really that picky as to not accept your big brother just because he had his soul eaten by a vile, disgusting monster?" He looked him in the eyes, pulling them so close their noses were touching.

Astre's words withred and burned wihin his mouth as he looked down in shame. The older twin smirked at this submissive action, nuzzling closer comfortably. He stroked his hands over his brother's neck, making him quiet down even more.

Manipulating the naive younger brother didn't get any less fun with age. Younger, he would often guilt the other into staying with him whenever he wanted to go somewhere else, forcing him to hold onto his hand, imprisoning him tightly and controllingly. He would make the other feel awful for not letting Ciel hug and kiss him, would play his feelings until they turned to guilty worship and love. Would make him feel inferior to himself, simply for the pleasure of steadying his trembling state of mind with affection and sweetened words. He loved the dependent look he would see whenever he looked into his mirror's eyes.

That look had faded over the time they had spent apart. No worries, he just had to reinforce that his love and affection were the things his brother should covet. He could use his old tactics and strategies to make the younger have that lovely, lovely look of subservience again.

Ciel hummed with his lips against the small cheek of his brother, the feeling making the little one try to sink further into the sheets, allowing more room for Ciel to conquer, close that gaping distance between them. Even the boundaries of their bodies were enough to irk Ciel endlessly, don't even talk about clothes or stuffed toys getting between the two of them. As a child, Ciel was more than happy to rip apart things separating, be they stuffed animals or living things, like cats, or other children. He forbade Lizzy from going near him with a look scary enough to make her nod as fast as she could, and anyone else? Well...they would never go near Astre after Ciel had a chat with them.

He forced his brother into his lap, kissing his face all over, despite the unresponsive stare he got in return. No worries, his affection will soon be the only thing making his brother wake up in the morning. He would make the younger as desperate for him as Ciel was for the younger twin. He would make the younger willing to die for him, and him alone. He would isolate him until he went crazy, and then come back to enjoy the attention. He would love Astre until they both went insane.

After all, it's his duty as the elder brother to keep his precious little brother taken care of.


	2. Childhood Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre thinks back to their childhood. That lovely, innocent time when everything was alright....
> 
> Or was it? Many things are overlooked if you only focus on the sweet parts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by angelheartlover. Thanks ^ ^

Lying powerlessly in bed, Astre had plenty of time to think. He actively was attempting to not think about his older brother, but it was so, so hard. Ciel had taken up most of his entire life, a mere three years apart wasn't enough to shake his memory off.

  


Astre then thought of their childhood, and he came to many conclusions.

  


One, you often overlook what's bad in your memories,

  


Two, your loved ones are often not what they serm,

  


And three, Ciel was insane long before Undertaker.

  


_~many years ago~_

  


A small, blue-haired child sat on a pillow in his room, playing chess all by his lonesome. He liked thinking up new strategies and modifying old ones. He could do this for hours upon hours until someone's tiny fist knocked on his door.

  


Astre let out a small "come in," before the door flung open, revealing the boy's older twin, Ciel, who enthusiastically waved at him before skipping over. Astre shook off the hurt that happened everytime somebody didn't listen to him, as the older brother settled next to Astre to cuddle him.

  


Astre wasn't sure if he liked Ciel's cuddles. The older's hands were always moving, petting over him, stroking and caressing every part of his body tirelessly. He curled a fist into Ciel's shirt whenever his hand brushed over his abdomen, he was so sensitive there. The older loved to brush his lips over Astre's cheek, too. It always made the younger twin feel weird, so he tried to push Ciel off and get up. He succeeded, somewhat, seeing as the older twin immediately got up too and grabbed his hand in two of his own, flashing him a smile that would always charm the adults, hoping it would charm Astre too.

  


It did, and Astre looked back at his brother. "Where you going?" Ciel asked, friendly and soft. He moved to nuzzle Astre.

  


"Don'tcha wanna play with me?"

  


"I wanna play with you, but i promised to go check on Mother now."

  


"She can wait for just a moment, can't she?" Ciel gave him a very cute smile in hopes of nullifying his attempts at polite rejection. It worked, as Ciel tugged and Astre followed, stumbling right back into his loving arms. "I..." "shhh, little brother. Just relax" ciel carded his fingers through Astre's hair, cooing to him with affectionate eyes.

  


"I-i really gotta go, Ciel! Mother's waiting for me!" Astre cried out. Ciel's fingers stopped carding through his hair. Ciel was hiding his expression. But he couldn't hide his emotions. Ciel's little fingers moved from his hair to his neck, softly squeezing. It made Astre's breath hitch, was this, a warning?

  


"...but i suppose she can wait for a little bit." Astre said, defeated. "Yay!" Ciel immediately cheered, pulling him to the bed at lightning speeds and throwing Astre on it with himself following suit. He immediately moved to their long-term cuddling position, and when Astre didn't immediately follow suit, little fingers found themselves at his neck. He whimpered, and moved to be the little spoon. Ciel purred in contentment and let up with the fingers.

  


From then on, whenever Astre disobeyed him, he would gently rest his fingers on the younger's pulse point, and Astre, instinctively scared for his life, would immediately do what he wanted.

  


__________________

  


It happened again. Astre was shut in his room, crying softly. A friend of father's had referred to him as the spare in a tone mean enough Ciel's heckles were raised immediately. Astre had left before witnessing his older brother tear the man apart with words before coming after him in worry.

  


Honestly, all Astre wanted was to be left alone right now, but Ciel was too persistent to let up. He crooned to his brother from the other side of the door, coaxing him to open it and let him in softly. Astre couldn't resist the temptation of warm arms, and let him in.

  


What a mistake.

Ciel had pulled him to his lap, admiring the wet sheen of his teary eyes. He wiped some away, before touching their foreheads together and grinning.

  


"You will always be my spare," he cooed lovingly. Astre froze.

  


"You''ll never be anything but my spare. Nobody will ever want you for you. Everyone will always think you're just the spare." He whispered. Astre looked down, missing the glint that passed Ciel's eyes. "Well, except for me." He then stated, and enjoyed the way Astre's head snapped up immediately.

  


"I love you cause you're you and no one else. I love you the most in the entire universe! You're my favorite person." He put their foreheads together, smiling softly at the trembling younger brother. "Forever and ever and ever"

  


Astre had been completely sold by then. He hugged Ciel really, really tight, but his smile didn't change, so he didn't mind. Astre then choked out,

  


"I-i love you too, Ciel"

  


Ciel smirked when his brother couldn't see him.

  


All according to plan.

  


______________________

  


"No! You don't understand, Tanaka! Just leave us alone and tell everyone to not come here!"

  


Ciel was growling like a little, extremely dangerous and scary puppy dog. The old butler immediately left the twins alone, and advised the servants and family to not go there.

  


Finally alone, Ciel took his twin by the hand and brought him close to his side. _This_ is where should always be, not in London running a toy store. That thought alone soured his improving mood, and he wordlessly pulled them both on the bed.

  


Astre stared at his brother, at a loss for words. Ciel had never cried before like this, ever. It's nice to see some form of humanity in his brother, but it still made him feel bad. He reached out to wipe away some stray tears. Ciel immediately snatched the small hand and brought it to his lips instead. Kissing and sucking over the delicate digits and eyeing Astre at the same time. He's been wanting to do this for so long, but he'd been afraid Astre would want to leave him. Now he was brave enough to tug the shocked boy closer than necessary, and start unbuttoning his shirt.

  


"C-ciel--" "Shh" Ciel hushed him, taking his forearms and starting to kiss his neck. The sensitive skin immediately started reddening, from marks and from flush. He pinned Astre down and continued his ministrations on him. "Ciel, we can't--" Aste tried to say, too shell-shocked to say anything else. "Yes we can." Ciel said with finality pulling away from his collarbone only to take his chin and kiss him on the lips.

  


It was soft, sweet, and felt like everything Ciel had ever wanted. He wanted to deepen the kiss, to combine their very insides together, but Astre pulled away just in time. He panted and shook, and Ciel decided to let the matter go for now, starting again from Astre's neck, laving hot, wet kisses over it.

  


He would have many, many more chances to kiss in the future.

  


___________________

  


Ciel would make Astre sleep in the same bed as him. Ciel would force Astre to hokd hands for hours. Ciel would always want to cuddle, whether Astre liked it or not. Ciel would kiss Astre in their room, away from prying eyes and any escape routes. Ciel would poison Astre's food to make him sick and dependent on him whenever ge became too disobedient. Ciel would forbid Astre from playing with others. Ciel would forbid others from playing with Astre. Astre could not get a room of his own, because Ciel "liked his company" and "wanted to take care of him more. Astre wouldn't be allowed to leave their room, and sometimes even their bed. Ciel would lovingly remind Astre who he belonged to every night after everyone had gone to sleep.

  


His spare, his brother, his toy, it didn't matter. 

  


Astre would always be Ciel's

  


  


  



	3. An Informal Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel gets paranoid about Astre whenever they're at a party.

Ciel's eyes were darting around quickly, so uncharacteristically anxious that his parents were getting worried. He was certainly bruising Astre's small hand from how tight he was gripping it, crescent fingernails digging into his delicate skin. Astre looked into his lap as Ciel put an arm around him to bring him closer.

Ciel hated, _hated_ parties. There was so many people, and if he didn't sink his nails as deep into his brother as he can, it would be too easy for them to be separated. Ciel hated, _hated, **hated**_ being separated from Astre. He tightened his grip, making the younger twin flinch. Who knew where his curious brother would end up in this den of sin! He could end up kidnapped or murdered if he wasn't glued to Ciel's hip at all times. Why couldn't they just stay at home and cuddle all night, Ciel despaired. Then he wouldn't have to worry and fret over keeping Astre as close to himself and as far from everyone else as he could.

Ciel's shaking subsided as a small hand was rested on his shoulder, and Astre's glittering eyed were staring at him in concern. He flashed a smile at his brother and moved to nuzzle him, resulting in Astre squeaking cutely. He's like a little, cute mouse.

Ciel really, really wanted to cover his face in kisses, but their parents were staring, so he just subtly placed a hand onto one soft, small thigh. Astre didn't react, but the tips of his ears were an adorable shade of pink. His cute, precious twin didn't make any attempt to swat the hand away even as it moved over his thigh and around his waist.

A bump appeared on the road, and the carrriage jumped, making small, lightweight Astre fling right into his big brother's loving arms. Ciel kissed his hair and squeezed him, relishing in the contact between them.

If Aste stays close, and he doesn't have to interact too much with others...

Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad.

___________________

Seething, Ciel smiled at the faceless, insignificant adult in front of him, his pupils slitted as they slid over to Astre. He's talking to a black-haired girl, who was making him giggle. Yes, a witch was making his little brother laugh and enjoy her company.

How did this happen? You may ask. Well, Ciel and Astre were standing with Father, enjoying being together, when the adult Father was talking to started making conversation with him. In his concentration to look as sweet as possible, his grip had loosened just a tad, and soon enough, when Ciel looked back, his hands were empty of an other half. His heart had stopped beating for almost an entire minute, before his eyes locked onto a familiar shape and relaxed. And immediately constricted again as he noticed the hand of another sullying his brother's skin, wiping away the lingering remnanys of his own hands. Ciel was forced to watch as the little temptress seduced his brother, his innocent, sweet brother, right into her arms.

When he finally, finally extricated himself from the man, he stormed right over, ready to geab Astre and pull him away to somewhere more _private_ , when that stupid girl took his hand and led him away, leaving Ciel all alone.

His hands shook and twitched, small tears appeared on the corner of his eyes and he sniffled as he tried to rub them away. Astre abandoned him! He abandoned him and left him all alone! His worst fear was coming true right before his eyes!

Astre was leaving him!

Ciel, in his muddled up stated of mind, thought about Astre and the nameless girl. If they really like each other, and father and mother consider them appropriate for one another, Astre might...he might... he _might-!_

_That can't happen!_

Astre's only supposed to marry him! He can't marry anybody else! Ciel couldn't bear the thought of Astre moving away somewhere, being touched and kissed and made love to by another. It was just wrong! All wrong!

A tiny hand touched his cheek, and Ciel looked up from his place on he ground where he'd collapsed. Io and behold, the younger Phantomhive twin was holding his cheek, his eyes alit with worry and concern. Ciel let a sick pleasure fill him, humming in satisfaction at the thought of Astre coming back to him, even if it meant crying first.

"Let's go home now, o-okay Ciel?" An absolutely sweet and precious voice asked uncertainly. "Yup yup!" He exclaimed, springing up and taking Astre's hand into a vice-like grip, pulling the younger into a hug that made many of the onlookers "aww".

He rubbed circles into the small of Astre's back, feeling him tense. "I really can't wait to play with you tonight~" he whispered where no one could hear them, alone in their own little bubble of love and lust. Ciel's eyes were alight with hunger, and Astre's with fear as they looked at one another. Older grinned and younger followed suit after a warning squeeze.

He really needed to be trained more, Ciel thought. Otherwise he'll never learn.


	4. Bathtime~!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a day the twins have very different thoughts about. A day of becoming clean, or as clean as your older brother lets you be inside.
> 
> Especially when he wants to get in with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by zetsubo_bani ^ ^ have this!

"Boys, don't you need a bath? You've been outside all day!" Aunt Anne joked, not realizing the gravity of what she just said.

Astre's heart slammed against his chest when he saw the way Ciel flashed to his side within moments, throwing his arms around him, grinning that angelic smile at Mother and Father and whoever else he had to convince to let them go together. When Astre flinched away, he stilled when cold, dirty fingers danced across his skin to draw circles on his pulse point, contently feeling it start to rise in panic.

"Oh, Ciel, how sweet of you to go with Astre!" Mother began gently, making Ciel grin wider. "But aren't you too old to go together? You're almost eight, you should start going alone."

Something forbidden started to raise it's head inside of him, hope swelling in his chest at her words. Maybe he wouldn't need to go this time? And the next time, too? To get clean all alone, to rub off Ciel's touches and lingering kisses off of his skin, without the overly attached twin watching him?

How good would that be.

A world where Ciel didn't always, _always_ get his way. A world where Ciel didn't feel the way hope came to life inside him and discreetly push stronger against the sensitive skin under his fingers. He closed his eyes and hid his face against Ciel's shoulder.

Another hand came to pull him closer, stroking his hair approvingly. "But, Mother, Astre is so very tired! He might fall asleep in the tub if i'm not there to wake him up. Or he might get sick all of a sudden and nobody wiuld be there to save him! Don't you think so..." Ciel lifted his head gently, curling his fingers on his neck. "Astre?"

Astre looked at him lifelessly, then looked down and nodded, mumbling out a "yeah". Mother and Aunt Ann looked at him worriedly "Are you sure you're alright? Perhaps you shouldn't go to bath... the heat would certainly cause a coughing fit"

Small fingers squeezed at his neck from under his hair where the two ladies couldn't see it from, and Astre snapped awake, hurriedly placating them that "he was fine" and "it's nothing more than fatigue, Aunt Ann, i promise"

When the two of them were finally comforted enough, Mother smiled and gave her blessing to Ciel, allowing him to whisk littke Astre away. Ciel smiled at him when they were being escorted by Tanaka, and Astre closed his eyes and attempted to stave off the growing discomfort inside him.

After Ciel successfully shooed Tanaka away, he locked the door nice and tight, and slowly turned to stare at his twin with bright, dark eyes that made Astre shiver.

Instantly Ciel was on him. Cooing, the boy called out "It must be from these chilly clothes? Let's get you out of them, shall we?" Sliding his icy cold fingers under his shirt, reaching up to the bottom of his ribs. Astre gasped, taking his twin's shoulders as a leverage as his shirt was sensually unbuttoned by Ciel. If he were stupider, he would have told Ciel that he could undress himself, but he had learned, so he looked away and bit his lip, allowing the silk to slide off his shoulders and arms to the floor. Ciel was quickly taking off his own, eager to match his brother.

Soon enough, cold, chilly fingers wrapped around his waist, sliding under the waistband of his shorts. Astre let out a small squeak, making Ciel chuckle lowly before taking them off, admiring his twin's smooth legs. They were both clad only in their underwear and socks, staring at one another, one in caution, one in secret feelings made to come to light.

Ciel insisted on taking his socks off, pressing his body uncomfortably close to Astre's while doing so. When it was the time for underwear, Astre miraculously got them off and dived into the spacious bath before Ciel could come closer. He didn't know what Ciel thought of his little stunt, but shivered still when he felt another body enter the bath, hands lazily searching him out, curling around his shoulders and pulling him out to emerge. He gasped for the air, heaving as Ciel softly stroked his face, almost as if in a trance. When he got his fill, he quickly backed away and turned around to fumble for the soap, only to still as clever hands and an even cleverer body came up to him, Ciel's slow, even breaths almost mocking his own frantic pace.

"Why such a hurry," a soft voice chuckled, arms wrapping around him to pull him back towards their owner, who pressed up against his naked body and cuddled his cheek to his own, eyes closed in bliss "Bathtimes are something to be enjoyed, aren't they?"

His cheeks was kissed, and Astre's eyes flew open as Ciel started caressing him in the water, their naked bodies sliding together while the elder sighed, almost moaning from pleasure. "This is it," he said lovingly, a hand coming up to push Astre's head into the crook of his neck. It's soft and warm, and smells of lavender and grass. The scent would have been comforting, if it wasn't for the sheer force of his heart pounding in his ribcage keeping him in a panicky state.

"We're meant to be together. Don't you feel that this is right? This is how it's meant to be, just the two of us, all alone, together!" He hugged Astre and squeezed him in a childish outburst that surprised him. "I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you , love you, love you, love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you love you, love you, looooooooovvvveeeee you!" Ciel cheered lovingly, giggling like a child, taking his cheeks and kissing all over his face and neck, cuddling and nuzzling, almost purring from being so close to his Astre. Even now, he wanted reciprocation, if the warning fingers inching towards his neck were anything to go by.

"I....i love you too, Ciel" Astre said in a careful whisper as his brother rubbed against him, their bodies as close as the boundaries between them would let them be. Ciel's eyes flew open and locked on him, grinning wide. "Let me wash you? You're so soft..." Ciel kissed him affectionately on the mouth, stroking his cheeks. Astre nodded softly, causing Ciel to cheer. Ciel's mood swings are the scariest part of him. Astre couldn't for the life of him ever figure out what he was thinking at any given time.

Now that he was being poured hot water on, and his hair was lathered with soap by careful, caring fingers, Ciel cooed to him and whispered sweet things to him like, "I wanna make you mine", "Marry me?", "You're so soft and warm and cute! Sleep in my bed tonight!" And "I wanna cuddle you forever".

Astre just wrapped his arms around his knees and waited for it to end.

Except it would never end.


	5. Fiancee's Point Of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzy has some thoughts about her fiancee's behaviour around Astre, his twin brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter brought to you by zetsubo_bani
> 
> Thank you!  
>  ^ ^
> 
> (How can i make this less generic)

"Astre is sooo cute! Have you seen it when he reads, that focused little face always makes me go "Aaaaahhhhh!""

"Oh oh, did you know Astre's favourite color is blue? But not just any blue, the kind of blue only our eyes have! Isn't that just the sweetest thing _ever_!"

"Lizzy, are you listening? Lizzy?"

Elizabeth snapped out of her trance, and smiled at her dear fiancee, who was once again going off about his sweet little brother. Elizabeth of course completely agreed with him, Astre is precious and should be given the best of everything, but the way Ciel behaved around him was disquieting, to say the least.

He would always get this strange glint in his eyes when his brother was taken up in the conversation. He would excitably start gushing about his brother, making all the adults aww and coo at him for being such a loving big brother, but only Lizzy saw the way his mouth then curved into a darkened smile, getting this manic look in his eyes for just a moment before going back to normal, making her question if what she saw was even real.

Only Lizzy saw the way Astre's lower lip trembled when he saw Ciel and Ciel saw him, only she saw how Ciel cooed to him in secret whispers that made Astre pale in fear, only she saw his soft little hand smoothing up his brother's thigh in a way that even the prostitutes of London would blush at.

Only Lizzy saw the moment his deft little fingers slipped under Astre's shirt in the dinner table. Only she saw him blush when Astre so much as made eye contact with him.

Only she saw the way small tears gathered in Astre's blue eyes, the way they got squeezed up when he shut his eyes and curled his fist while Ciel kissed him on the cheek.

The poor thing was frightened to death! Lizzy had to do something, but what could she do? What could she do? She's only but a child!

She tried telling her mother and father, but hey simply brushed her off. She tried to tell Aunt Red, and Vincent, even Rachel, but they simply told her it was "brotherly love". Elizabeth did not believe that, if the way Ciel smiled, impossibly pleased when he pulled Astre close and dug his beautiful crescent nails into his arm.

Finally, when she told her brother, he told her he had seen the same thing, but told her to not medle, as it was their business and their business only, reminding her to keep herself safe.

But what about the nights she spent over, and got up for a glass of water, only to stumble upon the sight of Ciel taking his brother's cheeks into his small hands and kissing him like princes to princesses in her books? What about the stray tears Astre let escape, whose fate was to only be licked away by Ciel's pink tongue?

She had been horrified and had run back to her room just as Ciel pushed Astre down onto the loveseat they were in front of. She swore she had heard a sweet giggle just as she sneaked a corner. The sound of Astre's hopeless cries never left her.

Something had to be done.

The next morning, she carefully approached both of the sleepy boys at the breakfast table, flinching at the small red marks all over poor Astre's neck area. She took his other hand that wasn't tightly being gripped by Ciel, and softly asked him to play with her that afternoon.

"H-huh?" A tired, ghostly voice answered her. "Play with me in the afternoon." She said again, as patiently as she possibly could.

Instantly, the fine hair on the back if her neck stood up, and she knew the reason why. When she looked up, beautifully devilish eyes were locked onto her frame on the indisputably beautiful face of Ciel Phantomhive. His mouth was in a straight line and he was just looking at her coldly. Then, his smouldering eyes slowly slid down from her face to the cute, white hand in hers.

She immediately understood his meaning. She slowly let go, gently, softly so the often bedridden boy in front of her would not be startled by a sudden movement. She was still smiling, looking into the eyes of pure sapphire in front of her. The younger twin opened his mouth.

"I-" "I'm afraid he can't do that" Ciel immediately interrupted him. "Astre's been a little ill the past couple of days. Who knows what that playing would do to him! Do you really want to risk him being bedridden, hmmm?"

Lizzy shook her head, heart clenching painfully at the way Astre closed his eyes in defeat, so sure nobody could help him.

She would prove him otherwise.

"Oh, but Ciel, we're gonna play doctor with him!" She cheerfully said, clapping her hands. Both the boys's eyes were on her now, one pair in hope that finally reared it's head after despair, and one pair clearly saying "shut up now".

Lizzy focused on the hopeful ones, mouthing "i will help you" discreetly, so Ciel didn't notice. Watching the dull eyes start to shine again made her even more determined.

"We will do a medical check-up together! Just like with Aunt Ann!" She cheered, seeing one pair of eyes darken and one brighten.

Astre's soft, hoarse voice answered her "That would be so nice, Elizabeth. I'd love to play with you" he gave her a shaky, gentle smile, one which stayed on even with Ciel's hand tightening around his own so brutally his skin paled to almost gray.

Ciel's expresdion was so stormy and dark it made everything feel colder and scarier, but Lizzy would not give in. "But his health-"Will be taken care of by Elizabeth"

They all turned around to see Aunt Francis, glowering down at them all. Both the boys flinched, but Lizzy smiled. "Ciel, you are going to be at fencing lessons all afternoon. They have more than enough time to play together during them." Ciel paled, and looked down. He glanced discreetly at Astre.

"Alright, Aunt Francis." He mumbled, defeated.

Lizzy smiled. She had done him in. Now all she had to do was converse with Astre and see what he had to say.

___________________

Come afternoon, Lizzy gently smiled at Astre, who smiled back. It's time for Ciel to go now, so they're both relaxed.

But he's not gone yet. "Why do you wanna go with her," Ciel mumbled, his forehead against Astre's shoulder. "Is watching me do fencing not fun enough for you? But you're supposed to be with me when i'm doing it, otherwise i'll lose focus and fail. Do you want me to fail and disappoint Aunt Francis and Father? Do you?"

Astre gulped and opened his mouth, but Elizabeth shushed him. "Don't respond" she mouthed at him. He nodded discreetly, and looked down.

"Am i not enough for you?" Ciel said sadly. "What is it, what is it about me that's not as good as her." He murmured quietly.

Astre tensed up. Lizzy did too, they both just watched Ciel snuggle up against Astre's arm and start crying. Lizzy was shocked. "Don't leave me... Astrey, don't go with her.." he hiccuped. "Stay with me, okay? I-I'll make you warm milk, and-and we'll read books together after my lesson" he mumbled into Astre's sleeve.

"Ciel, it's time to go now." Her Aunt's clipped cold voice sounded from the hallway. "Let go of your brother and quit sniveling, that is not a look for a Phantomhive if i can help it." Ciel pressed a few kisses against Astre's arm a few times, before smiling at him darkly and getting up to follow his aunt who had disappeared from the doorway, turning back for one last glance at his twin, before shutting the door behind him.

The two of them sat alone in silence as the last of Ciel's little footsteps faded into silence. Then Astre broke down.

Tears started sliding down his face as he buried his face into his knees and cried, without any sound. Elizabeth stood up and sat down again, next to him his time. She hovered her hand over his back for just a little, before setting it down gently, heart breaking at the way he flinched.

They didn't need any words to understand each other. Lizzy could feel Astre's conflicting feelings. She wondered if he felt her sympathy. Astre's sobs got louder after a while. Soon they rang across the room, echoing.

"Let it all out" she whispered, not flinching away as his tears wetted the shoulder of her frilly pink dress. "Let it all out, Astre." He cried louder.

He let out all of his pent-up feelings, right onto her shoulder. Lizzy just quietly sat there, and waited as his cries became quieter and quieter over the minutes, until they were only sniffling.

"T-thank you, Elizabeth" he said hoarsely after a little. "Just call me Lizzy." She said lowly.

"O-okay Lizzy." 

"Have you spoken to Aunt Rachel and Uncle Vincent?" She asked, only half-surprised at the answer. "Y-yeah, but they didn't b-believe me. A-and then Ciel got mad and he locked me up in o-our room for six hours"

She gasped, how cruel could her fiancee be, to treat his own brother like a, like a pet! "I-i know." He comforted her. Her chest constricted.

"What can we do?" She asked him while trying to think herself. "W-we?" He said, astonished. "Eliz-Lizzy, please don't get involved in this!" He cried out, startling her.

"What? Why?!" She asked him, shocked. "He's hurting you!" Astre looked at him with glistening eyes, trying to make her understand.

"If you think what he's doing to me is hurt, t-then you have no idea what he'll do to you!" He said, as solemnly as possible. Elizabeth felt her blood run cold. "W-what?" She stuttered.

"He won't kill you, but he will definitely hurt you in someway!" Astre said to her, looking down. "I don't want you to get hurt, after what you did for me especially. Just go. Ignore what he's doing, and we'll both be fine."

She looked at him, really looked at this boy who was being hurt by his own brother in his own home, a place where he was supposed to be safe and happy.

She took a deep breath, and took his hands into hers, looking at him solemnly.

"I promise you, Astre, i promise i will get you away from him!" No matter what it takes! She will save him from her fiancee!

He looked at her, shed a tear and, not trusting his voice, nodded.

It was a promise.

_____________________

"How dare you! How dare you! How dare you!" Ciel screeched at her from his side of the room they were playing in. Elizabeth didn't know what went wrong, they were just playing and then all of a sudden Ciel shoved her onto her back and stomped on her hand. She shouted in pain, and pushed him away, getting up onto her arms to drag herself away.

"He's mine! Astre's mine! Mine mine mine mine mine!" He yelled, taking her dolly and breaking off her head, throwing them away in anger. She flinched in fear. She couldn't scream for help, her family, Vincent, Rachel and Astre were out in London, and Tanaka was sleeping in his room.

She was all alone with Ciel.

The realization made her stand up. Ciel watched her disdainfully as she did so. She couldn't believe it, the sweet, lovely boy that enjoyed chasing her outside when they were playing was this same boy who had broken her doll.

Her heart pounded in her ears as he crept closer, taking her by the pigtail and squeezing it, making her cry out.

"Astre's mine," he growled like a scary puppy. "Say it. Say he's mine and i'll let you go" Elizabeth was just about to comply, when big, teary eyes flashed in her mind and she gained her resolve, staying quiet.

"Say it!" He shouted, shoving her onto the floor by tugging on her hair hard enough, making her grunt as she hit the ground. She stayed quiet though, Astre's small smile playing in a loop in her mind, the words "thank you" slipping from them.

She cannot dishonor him like that, that vulnerable boy does not deserve this!

"H-he's..." she began, watching Ciel smile in satisfaction. "Not. Yours!" She yelled and rolled away from under him, trying to get up before falling with a yell as something stepped on her back. It was Ciel's foot, grinding down onto her back so hard it hurt.

"Wrong answer." He hissed, using his foot to kick her over, mskibg her tear up. He took her by the pigtails and lifted ger half-up, so she was still below him.

"Now, listen here, and listen well." He said, low and scary. "You stay away from my Astrey, and i, will stay away from your Edward." He said Edward's name so mockingly it made her freeze.

"I'll break his arms so he can never hug you, or play cricket again. Or maybe i'll break his legs instead, so he will become the outcast of society."

Lizzy's eyes widened. "No! Hurt me instead, not Edward!" Her brother would never be himself again if something like that happened!

"Of course not, you're my beloved fiancee" he said sweetly. "I could never hurt you."

Suddenly, Elizabeth remembered what Astre said.

"He won't kill you, but he will definitely hurt you in someway!"

He was right. Ciel wouldn't hurt her, but he would instead hurt someone dear to her. How cruel! She thought numbly, how cruel.

This is what Astre goes through everyday?

"I'll take your silence as a yes" Ciel said suddenly, throwing her down to the floor. He walked away, she heard the door slam shut.

She cried, sobbing her heart out. She cried for her brother, she cried for her fiancee's cruelty, she cried at the world. She cried for her failure to protect the one who needed her most.

"I'm sorry Astre *hic* i'm so sorry..."

_I couldn't help you_

___________________

The next morning their visit ended, and her family left. It would soon be the boys's tenth birthday, and the family needed to start preparations.

As she stepped into the carriage, she looked one last time to the twins.

She would never forget the infinite sadness and emptiness in Astre's eyes. The despair nobody but his brother and her noticed.

Nor could she shake away the image of Ciel's cruel smile as he petted his brother's hair, whispering to him things that made his eyes become sadder and sadder the longer he was whispered to.

Ciel hugged his dearest twin close, finally alone without Elizabeth around to disturb their love.

If she does, well...

It's bye-bye to Edward's legs~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How this became a Cielizzy chapter, i have no idea. Hope you enjoyed another perspective!


	6. Freedom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre is tired, of many hings, but Ciel's smothering in particular.
> 
> He decides to make a break for it, hoping against all odds he could escape from the everlasting embrace of the love his brother holds for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter brought to you by ergisa and zetsubo_bani
> 
> ^ ^

"Astreee~ " his brother moans, making him grimace. "Why are you up so early? Hey?" He's questioned, his feet just inches away from the carpeted floor. His heart jumps as Ciel's eyes zero in on him, gathering vourage and going for it.

He winces when Ciel is a tad faster and grabs him by the shoulder, pulling him back to himself. "Naughty boy~ come on, it's cold today. Come in with me?" He slides back and holds the duvet in one hand, raising it to show all the empty space beside him, waiting to be filled with another identical body. "No thank you" he mumbles, not reacting when Ciel's eyes get darker.

"But it must be so very cold and hard for you! My heart aches when i think of everyhing you've gone through during our time apart," the grip on his arm tightens, Ciel's angry "But it's over now! We're together forever and ever, and you will never want for anything again."

Astre glances up at him with one good eye, since the other was taken out by Undertaker on Ciel's command. He's in the process of making a glass eye he can move around like a real eye right now. 

"What? You don't believe me? When have i ever lied to you, darling?" He said softly, reaching up to draw Astre in closer, cuddling their cheeks together. "I would never lie to you." He cooed.

A pang of guilt sounded through his chest, and Astre looked down.

"It's alright Astre, nobody's blaming you for anything," Ciel said sweetly, in a syrupy voice that slid over Astre in slow, rolling waves. "Now, haven't we argued enough? You had your fun, time for almost four entire years to do as you wished. But that's over now. From now on, we will spend every single minute together! Well, most of them, since i have duties with the Queen, and i would really rather not have anyone be aware of our "switch". You will stay here, in the lull and comfort of our room, until i come back and then we'll play together, eat together, bathr together and sleep together. Just like we used to. Just like we should be doing right now" he growled out the last words, huffy that they woke up and separated from one another's embrace since they should have had to be cuddling for at least four hours more, undisturbed.

Astre, during Ciel's littles speech, had been lulled into memories of a younger version of the boy in front of him, demanding he come to his bed so that they can cuddle and kiss, and when he refused, he decided to instead come to his own bed to do the aforementioned things.

He had never slept in that bed the same again.

Now, here he lay, on his back while Ciel laved him with soft, wet kisses, dragging his lips over every centimeter with slow, gentle movements. Ciel intertwined their hands somewhere during his speech, and he's gripping his hands with his own, cold and dead as they are.

He snuffled around childishly, before his small mouth found Astre's own and settled down, kissing and sucking slowly and gently, getting comfortable.

"I love you" he giggled out as he felt Astre relax, or give up fighting, either way was fine. He gave one last flurry of kisses to his eyes, before wrapping an arm around him to cuddle and falling asleep with a smile.

Astre would get away from here. He would.

The only question was when.

__________________________

He breathed, slow, steady, as Lizzy handed him the baggy full of supplies that would be enough until he made it to Lau's.

It was dubious and shady, certainly, but it was the only chance he had. He nodded his head to Elizabeth, a person he had learned to respect, and watched her smile back.

It's go time. Elizabeth held open the door for him. It was the dead of the night, and a cold breeze drifted inside. He shivered, but only wrapped the scarf he had around his neck tighter, adjusted his eyepatch, and went out.

Freedom is nice when you're deprived from it for a long time. He slowly stepped out, cautiously to the manor's yard, and began walking.

The tree Finny broke was still there, the branches all snapped like the twigs they were. The charred remains of Bardroy's cooking wafted in the air, even though it was only in his memories. The dishes Mey-Rin broke, the roses Finny left out for too long, the perfect cooking of Sebastian.

The manor used to be so _alive._ But in his brother's hands, it became quieter and stiller than death.

God, he missed them so much.

Tears blurred his vision for a moment, before he shook his head and saw a passing taxi service carriage. He called it over and told the driver to take him to the place he knew Lau dwelled in. Despite the suspicious outlook of his appearance, the driver accepted his money and they took off.

As he settled in and watched the streets of London in silence, he wishes for Elizabeth and Tanaka to be alright in the morning.

God, he wishes for anyone in the manor to withstand Ciel's temper in the morning.

He knows how those can be.

_____________________

"Useless, Useless, USELESS!!"

A terrifying screech ripped through the stagnant air in the manor as it's residents all cowered in fear as the true earl if Phantomhive took out his anger at them.

Polaris sniffled quietly as he watched his master rage, cowering further whenever those smoldering eyes went over him. Ciel admonished him "You! What are you doing there, standing there like that! Go find my brother and bring him back to me! NOW!!!!"

Polaris obeyed, eager to get out of the line. of the steaming earl's wrath. Ciel then turned to Elizabeth, who was near tears "If i find out you've been involved in this, the punishment will be most severe, do you understand?" He growled. Elizabeth nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Undertaker, go help Polaris in locating my dearest, will you?" Ciel then commanded Ubdertaker, who nodded and went agter Polaris.

Elizabeth ran out, not willing to be in the earl's presence any longer.

All alone, Ciel collapsed into the bed he and his twin had shared just a few hours prior, in love and brotherhood. They had hugged one another, pressing their bodies together, kissing intimately and caressing one another. Only a warm spot and a sweet scent were left of such an intimate display, and Ciel ached.

He cried as he curled up where their love had been most potent, taking in the scent of Astre and hungering for him enough to press his tongue against the fabric, wishing for just a taste of his soft, supple skin.

God, he's so hungry. He's hungry for another body next to his own, another soul to replace the one he had lost. Didn't Astre know how he needed him? How he craved for him?

Why why why. He's so hungry, and his other half left him all alone with a body that didn't fit right and a soul that wasn't even there anymore.

Ciel can give Astre anything he could possibly want, he could take care of him, comfort him and love him. The sheer force of Ciel's love for him was enough to break his bones, and yet he still left. He still left his embrace, their bed, their home.

Ciel cried as the warmth faded and Astre's scent grew weaker. All alone, just like he feared. However, he had faith in his servants. They would bring his dearest back to where it's safe, to him. And when they did, Astre would be chained up so tight he could only depend on Ciel for everything. He would be tied down to his side until it became impossible to live without him. They would hold hands until they either died together or their hands melded into one, bone marrow and all.

Ciel snuffled tearily into the last scraps of Astre in the duvet, and fell asleep thinking if how nice it would be to eat Astre alive and drink down his soul.

Oh my, he's reverting to his base instincts, so scandalous.


	7. Little Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel thinks back to the time he and his twin fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have got zetsubo_bani to thank for this chapter!

Squeezing his own hand for comfort was beyond pathetic, but there wasn't any other hand available for him to hold right now.

Ciel looked into the mirror and saw a face only two people in the world had. He saw luscious skin, soft lips, a small nose and big, blue eyes. Their skin was white like paper. That's why it was always so gratifying to mark his twin, since it was so visible for anyone to see.

Ciel, when he was younger, liked biting his twin at strange intervals. Astre always cried so sweetly, and Ciel would placate him with kisses from his bloody mouth. He remembers thinking that blood looked so good on his younger brother, although he didn't yet understand the tightness in his chest and the warmth curling in his tummy.

Ciel, when he was a little bit older, had stopped teething on his twin, and instead, learned the fun of hugging to be preferable. It didn't mean anything much, he just liked being close and personal wuth his twin.

Ciel, when he was older still, saw Astre smile once. It was when they were reading together, and his twin chanced upon a sweet picture or something, and his sweet mouth curled up, and his eyes sparkled. He never did find out what made his brother so joyous, but what he did find in himself was a single, pure white thought.

_"I want to protect that smile."_

That single, pure white thought was the one that made Ciel make Astre hold his hand all day and all night. That thought made Ciel first call his twin to his bed, where he could keep a better eye on him.

Protection became possession. Ciel was so childish in the way he tied their wrists together with thread once, to keep them together. Astre had been confused, and slightly scared when Ciel tied an unbreakable knot into it. When he was done, he proceeded to coo sweet things to his twin, making him call out to Tanaka. After that incident, Ciel started locking Astre into the safety of their room. He always carried a key to that room, he claimed Astre was way too sick and he could take care of him, making everyone awww and ruffle his hair, oblivious to the frantic turning of the knob a perfectly healthy Astre was doing, the confusion and shock when Ciel told him it was all good.

Possession became love. Ciel had his parents explain to him what love was, and what people in love do, and all the dots connected. He loved Astre! He loved him! He told so to his parents, making them giggle and go awww. Giddy and light-headed, Ciel had his first kiss with his sweet younger twin in the beautiful glow of a dreamy afternoon sun. He still remembers how he tasted of chocolate and mint, just like their favourite ice cream. He still remembers saying "I love you..." and Astre responding "I...love you too."

He made Astre say that every day from then on, never tiring of the three, beautiful words.

He began kissing him a lot, the novelty never wearing off. Surprise kisses in the hallways, sweet ones in the darkness of their room, passion-filled ones in their room that left both of them panting and clutching one another for dear life. He began inviting Astre to his bed more often, relishing in the way the sweet boy obediently responded to his call. On his bed, they would kiss and hug and intertwine their hands, combining in a way that set fire to Ciel's heart. He would tuck their sheets around them and cuddle closely, nuzzling and snuggling up. He would sometimes, rarely, demand to cuddle without their clothes on, wanting so badly to feel the softness of his brother's warm skin on his. Astre always protested, but he also always relented in the end.

Love becomes obsession. When Ciel found that Astre's neck was sensitive, he exploited that to no end. He could make Astre do anything he wants? Of course he would use such a golden opportunity. He made Astre be with him at all times, he would make him go to bath with him, he would make him sleep with him, and he could finally, finally have Astre respond properly to his kisses. He began toying with their parents, pushing limits with the love he showed his brother in front of them. Yet, they never noticed. So, Ciel started touching his brother in front of them. They were touches his brother associated with privacy, so he was beyond confused and shocked when Ciel started doing them to him in public. It gave Ciel a strange sort of thrill to love his brother inappropriately in a place anyone could see. 

He began exploiting Astre's fear of being discovered, and public opinion to keep his brother from straying too far from his side. He would mercilessly use their parents, their aunts and uncle, their cousins, the servants, anyone in sight to make Astre his.

He would even use Astre's status as the "Spare" against him if he ever got too disobedient. That was a very lowly move, but Ciel was desperate for any way to keep Astre with him. Besides, it was very, very effective. Astre's opposition would shrivel up and die pitifully whenever his status was brought up, and Ciel almost felt bad whenever he saw small tears in his twin's sparkling blue eyes, but he shouldn't have gone agaibst him in the first place.

He also liked it when his brother was sick. That meant a lot of privacy, basically zero disturbance if Ciel played his cards right. He would hold his delicate twin gently, kiss him softly on the forehead and coo sweet nothings into his ear. Astre's muddled state of mind caused him to react more favorably to his attentions than if he was healthy.

Ciel started putting controlled doses of poison into his brother's food. He was selfish, so very selfish and so madly in love! It caused him a sick satisfaction to personally feed his brother, and hold him as he suddenly lost strength, cuddling, cooing to him for hours before finally callling Tanaka when Astre's eyes shone fever bright.

It was out of his expectations for his...fiancee to figure out the relationship between them, but he handled it before any real damage could happen. Just some pesky hope that he could wipe from his brother's mind with another dose of sickness, no big deal.

As he comes out of his memories to the cold emptiness beside him, he thinks.

Ciel figures that he loves his Astre enough to forgive him for leaving.

After all, they have the rest of eternity to be together~♡


	8. Captivated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel’s sinister blue eyes are burned into his mind. He’s terrified and taken captive by them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright alright I will update >A<
> 
> Here, chapter by ergisa, a passionate fellow indeed.

Deep breaths, Astre reminded himself. Deep breaths, or the risk of an asthmatic attack from stress. He pressed himself against the alley wall a little tighter at the sound of Undertaker’s laughter, shivering, terrified like a little bunny. He quietly looked around the corner, at any sighing of his servants ~~_friends,_~~ ,catching sight of Finnian’s beautiful blond hair and sighing in relief, immediately freezing up at Polaris’s yell of anger.

How did he get here, you might ask. Well, long story short, he had found himself to Lau’s place, only to find all of his servants ~~_friends_~~ there. He had been welcomed warmly, the memory of which caused his chest to ache. They had planned together to take down Ciel, his ”caretaker”. However, seeing him so very stressed out took its toll on the people around him, so they took him to a carnival nearby to cheer him up. Such a lovely thing, by such lovely people, had gotten them detected. He cursed himself, he shouldn’t have accepted! Even if he collapsed from stress, he shouldn’t have taken the offer! He regretted it immensely, he shouldn’t have got them all in danger! Now he has only himself to blame, but that can happen later, seeing as clipped footsteps started to approach. His brain shut down for a moment, the world void of everything except for the slowly growing sound of heeled shoes approaching. His mind kickstarted, and horrifiedly realized it was his brother, coming to ”retrieve” him.

He took a sharp left turn and ran down the alleyway, coming out the other end and hiding behind the corner. It sickly reminded him of a game he and Ciel used to play when they were very young. Hide behind a corner and run when you hear the other twin coming.The footsteps paused. He held his breath. ”Brother? Little brother? Is that you?” The footsteps started approaching. He tensed up. ”Come home, won’t you? It’s a very cold night....I can warm you up!” An artificially sweeted voice cooed to him from the darkness. He could feel his heart pounding, threatening to break free from his ribcage. The chill in the air turned freezing as the footfalls paused, again. The world seemed to stand still. He leaned his head to the wall behind him, a pounding headache taking form inside his head. He was so exhausted.

”Aren’t you tired from play? Wouldn’t you rather be with me? I can warm myself up to normal human temperatures now! Undertaker showed me how. That means we can cuddle all the time without you getting sick! Now isn’t that just...” the voice took a breath, unnecessarily, ” _Lovely_ ”.

Astre took a gulp, curling in on himself at how close Ciel’s voice was. He was terrified beyond terrified. His legs wouldn’t move, his arms wouldn’t move, nothing would move. Maybe he was getting hypothermia. Or maybe the restless pounding in his skull had cracked it open.   
  


Either way, he had better get out _now_. So, without further ado, he turned around, and looked to his left, which was just more streetway. The beginning of snow drifted from the sky, the street dark, only illuminated by the glowing moon.

But, when he looked to his right, his heart stopped beating. He hitches his breath. The blueness of Ciel’s eyes was even colder than the autumn chill around them, more icy than frost. If he was to get captured by him while he had those eyes, Astre wouldn’t necessarily come out of that encounter alive, nor unscathed. Astre was _terrified_. He took a shaky breath, a cold puff of white air that disappeared into the space between him and his threatening twin. Ciel just watched him, taking him in, appreciating the radiating warmth of his body while it was still not a corpse. His pretty mouth was curled in a smile, but this of all the smiles he had when seeing Astre was the coldest, and the least sincere.

”You’re such a naughty boy, Astrey~”, he cooed, finally after a long silence of two ocean blues staring into each other’s depths. ”Running away from home like that, what were you even thinking,” he continued, patronizingly, making Astre’s heart become just a little colder. ”And here I thought you would come back to me on your own, like a _good_ boy, but nooooo” Ciel took his wrist, which Astre felt was extremely numb. ”Instead, you’re gallivanting with these, these...” he struggled to find the right words, ” _Lowlives”_. Ciel looked at him disdainfully, ”Yes, these lowlives which I should have killed off at the very beginning. By God, brother, you should already know How much I despise you getting dirtied, especially by trash like _them_.”

_Don’t talk about them like that._

He mouthed silently, which his elder twin took notice of, apparently. ”What was that? You care about them? Them? You? You care about these lowlives?” Ciel looked at him for refusal, but when he found none, his eyes widened. ”Oh. _Oh._ ” He then smiled, and started giggling, which escalated to laughter, a mocking, deprecating sound which rang through the cold air, making Astre shiver, but not with cold.   
  
  


”Aah, brother, brother, my sweet, dear younger brother, just when will I have you for my own and my own alone?” he hissed, tightening his grip on Astre’s wrists, making him flinch but not make a sound. ”When can I stop having to deal with _pests_ like these? When, brother!?” He yelled, crushing his poor wrists in his undead hands. Astre winced, silencing his enraged older brother.

He gasped. ”Oh, you poor thing. Are you hurt? Is this how badly they’ve treated you?” He wants to shake his head, but Ciel has taken his chin and keeps it in place, blue eyes boring into his own, full of dark intentions. ”but It’s alright now, Ciel will make it all better.” He smiled, this time it’s genuine, which makes it all the more horrifying. What punishment could Ciel possibly have thought of to smile with such warmth? It terrified him to think of it, so he looks down and closed his eyes, hoping this to be a dream.

it’s a blur When he heard Ciel call out for Polaris to inform him and Undertaker he’s found his twin. From the corner of his eye, he catched sight of Mey-Rin’s apron, and the glint of her gun. He probably makes for a sorry figure, hunched in his lookalike’s arms like a puolet with it’s strings cut off. However, he makes a small, unnoticeable hand gesture to her, thta immediately make her withdraw her guns. He knows they’re worried, but he can manage himself.

He’s already put them in enough danger with his escaping, after all. He can’t afford to be a burden any longer. He catches sight of Sebastian’s enraged expression, and can only hope he can hold his tears in.

Ciel takes his hand to hold it. He’s snapped back to reality, only to find himself in a carriage with his undead brother right next to him, pressed closer than the general public would think appropriate for brothers to be.

Well, the general public has never seen the way Ciel pushes him down and kisses him in their bedroom, nor have they seen the way his small, soft hand finds its way up his equally small, soft thigh. They have never seen Ciel’s soft smile before he hand-feeds him a poisoned meal that leaves him sick for days, they have never seen how sure his hands are when he locks Astre up in their room and takes away the key.

They have never seen the darkness in his eyes When Astre doesn’t do what he’s told, so what do they know.

Arriving at the manor felt like being sentenced to a lifetime of prison, only it was in his own home and the warden was his own brother. Ciel smugly helped him out of the carriage, even taking the time to kiss his hand, adoring as ever. Ciel then proceeded to take both of his hands and pull him close to press their forehead together, sighing contently. Astre doesn’t understand his brother’s separation anxiety, never has understood. All he knows is that Ciel gets needy and clingy whenever they’re apart for so much as ten minutes.

Meeting Elizabeth’s teary eyes was impossible without shedding a few of his own. The hope crushed and trampled all over was too excruciating to witness. More excruciating, however, were the words of his twin regarding him.

”Polaris, send my runaway Astre into my private chambers, won’t you? And remember to serve him a sumptious meal, he’s malnourished! And, oh...”

”If I find a single hair on his head twisted, I will personally disembowel you. Are we clear?”

The hooded man wordlessly took my elbow, and gently as possible, began leading me to my own personal hell.

At least i’d get a nice dinner before Ciel came in to make a meal out of _me_.


	9. The Poor Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre thinks back to his past, and remembers something he'd rather forget forever...her memory hurts, but it must be remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apology chapter, i was absent forever.
> 
> Request by zetsubo_bani! A person with great ideas ^ ^

The clock ticking was a common thing, but to one particular Phantomhive, it might as well have been a death knell.

Astre sat on the master bed, looking at the door every now and then. His heart was beating fast, his fists were shaking. He's anxious, full of nervousness and fear. He had no idea when his brother would decide to drop by to punish him, and the slightest creaks had him tense.

He let out a breath, laying down, getting comfortable. Being afraid will not solve his problems. But he is incapable of rational thinking right now, when the grim reapers are watching him, waiting for his death.

He might as well reminisce. Let his miserable life flash through his eyes before it flashes through his record. He closes his eyes, and thinks. He thinks of green meadows seen through the clean window, he thinks of a black snout poking his hip. He thinks of a fireplace and hot cocoa, reading a book about toymaking.

He thinks of black curls, a small face and impossibly green eyes--

Astre shoots up, and puts a hand on his mouth, to prevent himself from vomiting. He gasps, his hands shaking, and feels his eyes tear up. He closes them and shakes.

Sieglinde's lookalike's memory was too much for a fragile mind to handle. Though, his mind has already been broken many times before, what does one more time hurt?

Mind made up, he closes his eyes and sinks into the memory, seeing the child smile...

_~Flashback~_

Astre was swatting his brother's hand away discreetly for the umpteenth time, when his mother, his dear mother, unknowingly doomed a soul to a terrible fate.

"Astre, what manner of girls do you like?"

He freezes, and so does his brother. He feels Ciel's hand snake its way to his shoulder and squeeze in warning, very, very hard. He fights back a wince, and meets his mother's eyes, begging her to not say anything else. However, she didn't hear his plea.

"We have a guest coming up with a lovely young lady. I'm sure you'd like to meet her, no?"

"I-i haven't really thought about that, Mother." He tells her earnestly, and he can _feel_ Ciel smiling.

"Oh, but you must have! Your brother already has a lovely fiancee, i'm sure you'd like a companion too!" She piped up, oblivious to the tightening grip starting to bruise Astre. He gulped, glancing riskily at his brother.

Ciel looked at her. "Isn't Astre too young for this sort of conversation, Mother?" Astre was pulled into the arms of his brother, who habitually rested his fingers on his throat. He swallowed as they started tapping against his collarbone, drawing little hearts there.

"Aren't you two the same age? Ciel, a few minutes does not mean he is that much younger than you! And you have Elizabeth, don't you? Shouldn't Astre have a beautiful lady helping him run his toy shop?"

His mother's support for his dream and the dismissal of their age difference warmed Astre's heart, and made Ciel's colder, if the small squeeze around his throat was anything to go by.

Ciel went silent after that, and conversation went as normal, with only few teasing banters thrown here and there. When it was time for bed, his mother told them that the girl would be coming over tomorrow, and to have a good night's rest to give her a good impression.

When the door finally closed, and they heard her footsteps walking away, Ciel exploded. He shot out of bed and into Astre's faster than Astre could comprehend, gripping his arm tight enough to hurt and _dragging_ him into his own bed.

There he was pushed down into the soft sheets and his hair was gripped in a tight fist, making him cry out. He was yanked by his hair, colliding into Ciel's warm chest, and received with an arm snaked around his own while the other was still in his hair, gentler now. The words Ciel said next, well, they were less so.

"I will not give you to some _harlot_ , Astre" he hissed into Astre's ear, moving the hand in his hair to his little throat, feeling him hitch his breath in terror. "She doesn't know you, little brother, not like i do. How could some _girl_ possibly love you as much and as deeply as i do?" He rubbed his cheek to Astre's to show his devotion. "Aren't _i_ the ideal partner for you? I can take care of you. Let me take care of you, Astre?"

He pressed his little lips to Astre's neck. "I love you more than anyone in the world does, brother. Let me love you. Nobody else loves you, anyway."

Astre felt tears stinging his eyes at Ciel's cruel words. He let out a small sob, and a stray tear rolled down his cheek, which Ciel was quick to lick up. "Shhh, don't cry. You shouldn't cry at what is true. There will never be another who cares for you like i do." He drew Astre into a gentle hug, to which he leaned powerlessly into, sniffling. "There will never be another who embraces you like i do,"

"There will never be anyone who loves you like i do." Astre was pinned beneath Ciel, who smiles at him, before leaning his forehead to Astre's, looking down at him quietly. "Dream of me, Astrey~" 

Astre closed his eyes, and did as he was told, waking up in a sweat many times due to the nightmare of Ciel he had.

\----------------------------

Astre stared at Emma, and Emenda stared at Aster. Oh, sorry, i said your name wrong? Too bad.

The introduction had gone extremely well, mostly due to Ciel and Emenda's mother being absent. Both had immediately found each other's names too hard to pronounce, what with their child tongues. So they had both unanimously decided on nicknames for each other, much to the amusement of their parents.

Emenda had _attempted_ to come off as a regular girly girl who liked pink, read attempted as Astre saw straight through that, and devised a fun plan. Thusly, he brought out his most vulnerable toughts and feelings, things that Ciel would call him girly for, and things that encouraged Emma to come out with her love for detective novels and medieval knights. They had a debate about Emenda's favourite book and the stereotypes in all the characters, with it ending in a draw when both found each other too respectable of an opponent.

They played chess, and Astre commended Emma for her quick with and tough strategies, ones that challenged even him. They made concept art for a toy line in Astre's future shop, and Emma came up with the funniest name for him, based on his expression, "Bitter Rabbit".

Astre decided to keep it. It was too funny to let go, and the drawings they made of him _were_ accompanied by a bitter expression.

Emma liked playing with cards, at which she was exceptionally good at, and at which Astre was definitely a natural at. The look on her face when Astre presented her a royal flush was simply priceless. She lost a hair pin, buttons, and a bracelet that day.

All in all, it was a great day, and Emenda proved to be the single most enjoyable company he had had in a long, long time.

What was not so great, was the moment Astre happened to look up during their conversation about the latin names of flowers, and saw his twin in the doorway with a blank expression on his face. Astre went cold all over, and he meekly told Emma he would go fetch more books for them to read, at which she raised and eyebrow, and thankfully did not see the infernal blue eyes intent on burning her to ashes right behind her.

He supposed that all good things come at a price, when Ciel slams him against the corridor wall, and demands an explanation. The look on his face is that of a rabid wolf, and Astre feels like little more than a poor white bunny. Suddenly, Ciel smiles warmly and cooed to him, asking him to introduce him to his _little fiancee._ Astre's heart skipped a beat at the change in atmosphere, and he agreed.

Emenda definitely sensed something wrong. She definitely sensed it. She looked suspiciously at Ciel, who smiled so innocently, yet his grip of Astre's hand tightened by the second.

"Now that we all know each other, let's go to a neat place i know!" He said cheerfully to both of them, making Astre's eyebrows raise and Emenda to frown. "...let's go." He said, simply because it was expected of him, and Emenda agreed.

Ciel cheerfully led the way, and Emma and Aster looked at each other, then to the boy skipping ahead, happily humming a tune, before he pushed a couple bushes away and turned around, revealing the scenery with a slight "Ta-daa"

Astre had to admit, the scenery was astounding. It was evening already, so the sun was setting and casting glorious hues over the cliffside. He heard lapping waves. He hadn't known they lived near an ocean before.

He went along as Emma immediately walked to the cliff, near the edge but not quite, the daredevil that she was. She turned to Astre and smiled, the sunrays against her face making her look like a dreamy angel. Astre was mesmerized by her eyes, so impossibly bright green, like emeralds. Her raven hair catched the gold rays and tangled them up into her curls. This moment was quite beautiful, so much so that he almost forgot Ciel was even there.

Almost. For Ciel Phantomhive would never let himself be forgotten.

Astre stared at Emma, and Emenda stared at Aster. Emma reached out a hand and Astre went to take it, her terrified green eyes reflecting two of himself. One was reaching a hand to help, and the other was the reason he was stretching a hand to help. Everything was in slow motion, like in a still picture, but moving. Their fingertips grazed. Her nail sliced a small wound onto his finger. She opened her mouth, mouthing out a single word.

_**Aster** _

Then the waves consumed her. He was left reaching out a hand, the wind blowing his hair and clothes. He looked at a small drop of blood that slowly slid down the slice from her fingernail, and dripped down.

Then he looked at his brother. He was standing where Emma had been just moments ago, both his arms outstretched in a paused shoving motion. His face was completely blank, void of the cheer that graced it just moments ago.

Astre gave a small gasp. Ciel looked at him, took his arms back, and smiled. It was a genuine, happy smile. The gold rays were scared off by his blue eyes, and also fled his hair. The wind blew his hair and clothes, and, despite the warmth of the sun, Astre felt cold. So, so cold.

His twin took his trembling hands, and leaned to his ear. A small smile still graced his rosy lips as he whispered to his dear, foolish younger brother.

"There will never be anyone who loves you like me, because i won't let there _be_ anyone else." His hand came to rest on the back of Astre's neck, and he leaned to take Astre's lips into his own. He closed his eyes and made a strange sound, pressing his kiss inside his mouth when he made a squeak. When Astre opened his eyes, he saw that ciel was blushing bright red, and that his eyelashes were fluttering like a dying butterfly's wings. Astre felt Ciel smile into his first kiss.

Astre shuddered.

____________

Ciel explained the incident as a freak accident. Said the wind took her small frame, flung it right off the cliff. Emma's mother and father were beyond comfort, but the usually sympathetic Astre could not feel anything for them.

Astre just looked down during Ciel's little speech, looking so traumatized that nobody asked him anything.

And if they had, why would it matter, anyway?

After all, nobody will ever love him like Ciel does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frick i started crying because of my own writing.
> 
> Oh, and the first kiss Ciel talked about in chapter 7? Guess what, it happened here.


	10. Rebellion Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre does something he's never thought of doing before.
> 
> And deals with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By ergisa and Hiii
> 
> Thank you!

Astre lays in bed, powerless and unseeing. He was exhausted, about Ciel and his life in general.

Burying his head into his pillow as he feels a small hand card through his hair. Squeezing his eyes shut whenever a sweet coo is presented to him. Clenching his hands shut whenever they're trying to be taken.

He's never done that before. Ciel surprisingly seems to accept it, seeing it as no more than a phase to get over. As if he could get over.... _that_.

And that, and that other thing, and all those things, and a little more on top of that.

There are so many, many things he can't get over. Not while Ciel's here.

Ciel.

That springs another whole lot of emotions in him that he's too tired to figure out, now, or ever. It's an eternal question of _when what whose fault_ and _why_ of when something will set him off again. Ciel is in a loop of downspiraling that he's not sure he'd like to see unravel.

Maybe he is, too. After all, they match, don't they?

They're twins. Of course they do.

_______________________

"Astre~ how are you feeling today?" Ciel giggles at his surprised expression. "What, didn't think your big brother would take care of you?" He cooed sweetly, stroking his cheek. He's got a tray of food. **_Bad_**.

Astre looks at it, and then at Ciel, and happens to catch a glint in his eye. _**Bad**_

"Whaat? I just came to give you some food. Oh, but you look so tired, maybe i can feed you!" Ciel purred when he didn't respond, holding up a spoon of marmalade jelly. "Say aaahh~" _**BAD**_

Bad bad bad. There's nothing good about this entire set-up. He knows what's going on, and Ciel knows he knows, given by the small smirk on his face. They've done this more times than he can count yet, and the food is still poisoned enough to make him sick for weeks. Maybe this is punishment for his actions earlier. Maybe the coup with Elizabeth, maybe her. But he's done.

He won't take this anymore.

"I'm not hungry, Ciel." He finally says, as the spoon is inches from his lips. "I'm not."

Ciel is clearly taken aback. "Ah?" He makes a noise. His twin looks at his hard eyes and set mouth, before chuckling. "Oh Astre, but i made food especially for you! Won't you eat it, for me~?"

He's laughing, but his composure is clearly breaking, given by his tight grip on the spoon and dark eyes. "I think i can manage without. Thanks for making food for me, but i'm not hungry at all."

Ciel looks at him blankly. And then he smiles. "You think you can manage without, huh?" His grin shows hidden sharp teeth. He leans over Astre to grip his arm, and pulls him closer, smiling all the way. "Well, i am the heir, and _i_ think you should be a good boy, and eat, don't you think?"

Ouch, that was a low blow. One that panged Astre's heart. Made him consider giving in.

But then he remembered all those nights in cold, bitter agony while Ciel smiled beside him, he remembered all the times Ciel had used this tactic before, he remembered her. He's better than this.

"I'm not hungry, Ciel." He says, finally. And the world goes still. The flowers freeze solid, the birds stop chirping. This is new, this is resistance to a completely new level that they have no idea how to deal with. For a long, long, eternal moment, they look into one another's eyes. He makes himself look as sure about resisting Ciel as he is when he says he wants to be a toymaker. Ciel blinks. Once, twice. And then he laughs.

He laughs and laughs and laughs. It seems to never end, the awfully high voice hurting his ears. Astre's heart pounds against his ribcage as Ciel finally quiets down. Ciel lays his head against Astre's shoulder as he comes down from his high, chuckling still.

"So, we're really doing this? You're really making me do this?" Astre's heart picks up pace. Ciel looks at him, and smiles. "You really are a foolish spare, brother."

Astre hitches his breath.

"But one i love oh-so-much. So much, that i get rid of pests that bother you, and give you nice, warm food to eat, in exchange for spending quality time together. But what do i get in return? A confrontational and rebellious attitude. From the one i love no less!" He giggles, quickly seizing Astre wgen he tries to get away. His grip on him turns for the bone-crushing. "You really are nothing more than a weak, sickly, useless--" "That's ENOUGH!!"

That was the first time he's ever, ever raised his voice. It dumbfounds him, and it shocks Ciel to the core. He stares at him wide-eyed, "brother?". A strange tide of confidence and anger surges up in him.

"Ciel, let me speak frankly," he says coldly. "You might be the heir, and i might be the spare, but" he takes a breath "that doesn't condone your actions."

Ciel blinks at him, his lower lip wobbling a little.

"You're so mean to me, and everybody else all the time. You lie to Mother, Father, Aunt Red and the Midfords. You hurt people, too," he closes his eyes in pain, before opening them again to see his brother tearing up. "Despite being twins, you hurt _me_ , and, and" he tears up too, losing a lot of his confidence. "I..." before coming to himself again and raising his voice again.

**"I wish i was never born as twins with you!"**

Saying it felt so heavy and so light at the same time. He felt conflicted about himself and his feelings, starting to muse about them until he heard a small noise.

His blood froze solid in his veins as he realized what he had just said, to _whom_."C-ciel, i--" he looked up and froze in shock.

His twin's face was twisted in a a way he had never thought a face could twist. He was smiling and snarling at the same time. His eyes were cold and dead and awful all over. His fists were clenched so tight Astre could see blood dripping from out of them. The corner of Ciel's eyes were red, and there were a couple of new tear tracks where there had never been any before. He had never seen Ciel cry before. He had never even seen him be sad, before. He looked _terrifying_.

His heart was skipping beats as he carefully slid back from his elder brother, watching his eyes as they stared vacantly to space. He's still processing everything, it's now or never ever seeing the sunshine again. Ciel is surely going to break his legs if he ever catches him after this!

He broke into a run.

It was the first time in years he had ran. Adrenaline was pumping in his veins as he ran as fast and as far as he possibly could from that room. He held his hands together and prayed to the Almighty Holy Father to not let Ciel catch him.

An ear-piercing screech resounded from the room. And Astre's poor heart started stumbling all over itself. He panicked, thee was no way to outrun Ciel when he was mad, and this was a completely and utterly new type of mad that might as well have been superpowers from how fast he heard footsteps thumping towards him

"Astre~ come on, do you really have to be so difficult?~" he heard a voice, crooning in the darkness. "You're so naughty~ perhaps a punishment will suffice?"

"Which would you rather have?~ being locked in the basement with me, or eating my food for three weeks? I'm quite certain you'll never disobey me again after _that_ experience~"

He started panting in fear and tiredness settling into his limbs. There's no way to run, but maybe he can still...

He made a sharp right turn into the library and burst in. He made as little sound as he could and opened the grandfather clock, slipping inside and waiting nerve-wrackingly, the chimes of the clock disguising his presence. The wooden part of the door was high enough to cover him from sight as long as one didn't come too near.

"Astre? You're here, arent'cha?~ ready or not, here~ i~ cooome~!"

He saw from a corner of the wood how the library door opened and closed. He held his breath in fright. Ciel's "come out wherever you ares" and "i won't be mads" were thankfully covered by the sound of the clock ticking.

His sickly body had gotten exhausted from running, and Astre's poor heart was going haywire in his chest. He panted silently, trying to come down from the adrenaline high as he watched the grandfather clock's thing swinging above him. He could vividly hear Ciel ripping open bookcases and closets in search for him, checking under the couches and the cushions.

Astre relaxed a little, he was quite sure Ciel could not find him. He was getting a bit drowsy. Such a young child, under so much stress...

He fell asleep inside a grandfather clock with his twin frantically searching closer and closer to him.

Mistakes are often made when tired.

Astre was ripped from sleep just as the door of the clock was opened. The two boys stared at one another. One in cautious fear and other in something unreadable. Astre could not see anything in his brother's gaze, other than himself reflected in them. He shivered and Ciel came to life at once.

"You poor dear! Astrey, don't you know you could get an awful cold if you stay there, won't you?" Ciel pulled Astre up by his arms, pulling him into a kiss, tangling their hands together. "Let me warm you up, won't you?" He cooed, taking Astre's hand and quietly leading them out of the destroyed library. Books were everywhere, drawers and cases ripped open by their hinges. Paper mass littered around. Many, many items on the ground, such as a vase, a sword and a shield.

When they got out of the library, the corridor was a slightly smaller mess. Scratches marked the doors and walls, paintings tattered and torn. Astre just felt numb, empty and warm. Ciel tightened his hand on the younger twin's. Stroking the younger twin's cheeks and snuggling up against him, kissing his cheek.

Their bedroom was still mostly intact, and as Astre was set down on Ciel's bed, he only saw ruffled sheets. Then, his brain finally catched up and gave a sudden kickstart. He flinched back as Ciel wrapped him up in his arms and clung onto him, eyes wide open and disturbed. His heart was stumbling again. Ciel couldn't possibly be this mild after all he'd said! This was a trap, this was definitely a trap!

It felt like having a mine under your foot, any small movement would make it explode. It was nerve-wracking, watching Ciel harmlessly cuddle up closely to him without any glint in his eyes.

"I missed you, Astre." Ciel breathed out against his ear. "I love you." He then said. "I love you..."

Astre glanced at Ciel at an opportune moment and only saw great love and utter adoration on his expression. His heart calmed down a little. He fell limp, looking into space in exhaustion. "Me too." He said, quietly. "I...love you too." Ciel smiled happily, giggling and cooing to him a moment longer, wrapping him up even closer than before.

He fell asleep to Ciel nuzzling his hair lovingly, not feeling him tighten his arms, nor notocing the brand new lock for their room Ciel had gotten, sitting on their desk innocently. No.

Astre just fell asleep in the arms of a devil monstrously in love. A monster who kissed his forehead, and brought his unconscious body to cuddle on the bed, spooning him warmly and closely.

Things like taking a petson captive discreetly take an awfully long time to accomplish, but Astre is worth it and Ciel is patient.

Even if they weren't twins, even if they had been born into different families, Astre would always, always be Ciel's and Ciel's alone


	11. Punishment? I call it Reminding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoo boy, here we go! Let's see how messed up i can make this!
> 
> Chapter by ergisa and zetsubo_bani

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!
> 
> And oh my gosh, TRIGGER WARNING! DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE TRIGGERED BY GORE, INCEST OR ANYTHING IN BETWEEN!

_"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, faling down~🎶"_

A sweet voice quietly sang in the empty corridor of a dark manor. Footsteps skipping could be heard if one strained their ears.

_"London bridge is falling down~🎶"_

a shadowy figure came to a stop, before him were two grand doors of mahogany. The figure reached out a hand and took the doorknob gently.

_"My...fair...lady~🎶"_

Ciel cheerily swung open the door, revealing a darkened bedroom. He tutted, tapping his hands together, causing the assortmemt of candles all around the room to simultaneously light up. He smiled when his eyes caught onto the sight of another boy on the bed. He stroked back his hair as if in flirtation, much to the horror of the other child.

"Let's get this over with..." Astre sighed, probably in exhaustion. He sounded as if he wanted to go to sleep right then and there. Well, that wouldn't do at all, would it? Ciel simply smiles at his brother, closing the door and locking it behind his back with a resounding _**click**_.

His darling brother flinched and tensed up. That wouldn't do either. Ciel walked towards his brother, just looking at him.

They stared at one another quietly, you could hear a drop of blood hit the carpet from the silence. Ciel carefreely dropped himself down beside his brother, knees bending in a way they never would have in his living days. Astre's eye widens at the grotesque sound they made.

He's so close he can almost hear that sweet, sweet heart beating and picking up pace. What he would give to sink his little teeth into the organ of love keeping his brother from the reaches of Death. Maybe later, he has so much planned!

"Astre..." he breaks the discomforting silence between them, twins are supposed to share everything! He lovingly picks up the twitchy hand of his younger brother and leans to press their foreheads together to comfort his brother in advance. "Tonight...i make you mine and mine alone."

He takes his brother's cheek into his hand and takes an inappropriate amount of pleasure from the way his lips slot perfectly with his other half. He closes his eyes halfway, pulling away a fraction and putting them together again. His new blood rushes to his face, making his knees weaken and tremble in bliss. He's missed this so impossibly much. He's missed this love rushing through his missing soul, the obsession pumping in his veins, he's missed _Astre_. His twin is, quite literally, the reason for living for him, seeing how only the memories of him keep him sane and away from his brother's veins, where that delicious, _delicious_ blood is...

He gasps when he tastes _heaven_. In his haze of thoughts, he's increased the strength at which he was lazily nibbling his brother's lips! He greedily licks at the small wound, before Astre rips away from him. He swallows what he got and lets out an embarassing sound at the taste, the need for _moremoremore_ almost getting him, but not quite.

He feels so, so hot and ready and in love as he redirects his lustful gaze to his younger twin, lowering his head down to him and grinning.

Astre trembles so prettily! It's in the way his eye sparkles with tears, in the wet gasps he makes when he tries to get his sickly lungs to receive air, it's the way every part of his body that touches Ciel's twitches. He's dangerously excited, treading into new territory like his Astre's body.

He settles over Astre's stomach, staring into his pretty blue eye as he quietly unties the bow on his coat, sliding it off seductively. He knows he's pretty, he's Astre's twin! However the same way his tilts his head slightly to the side when he takes off his coat, the one that makes older ladies blush, dirty old men stare at him anxiously, and Elizabeth avert her eyes doesn't seem to affect the one he wants to be affected by it the most. He pouts, innocently arching his back to start unbuttoning his shirt. The movement does something _delicious_ to his body as it moves agaibst Astre, something he can't quite place but one he wants more of. Preferably from his twin. He'd like to have every first time he possibly can with his twin.

He pauses, feeling his twin tense up beneath him, Astrey must have felt it too! He draws a few conclusions, and concludes that his love being in contact with Astre is good. Astre doesn't seem to think so, seeing how he started struggling discreetly, as if Ciel couldn't notice how each inch apart hurt like a thorn across his skin. He wiggled his hips to get a good angle to trap his brother with, and got a strike of pleasure whenever his love touched Astre's. He got a bit shy, unusually so, gazing at his twin pitifully. Astre noticed it too, seeing how he spluttered a bit and stopped struggling, watching him with dread.

"C-ciel...what are you doing?" His cute voice asked, another part of his brother he loves. Ciel thought for a bit, unbuttoning the last butgons of his last shirt and, sliding it off his shoulders and arms, and dropping it away by his other pieces of upper clothing.

"I love you, and you love me." He explains gently to his slow twin, leaning down and setting his hands by each side of his shoulders to better look at him. This action seems to have aggravated Astre's poor, sensitive heart. He could almost feel it pound, he was so close....

"And i would like to give my first time to the only person i've ever loved with my entire heart." He smiles, circling the top button of Astre's nightshirt with his fingertip. If he had a proper heart, it would be beating very fast now. 

"Your...first time....?" Astre said in confusion, mulling it over, before it hit him. But instead of eager approval like Ciel would have thought Astre would have reacted, he shot up from beneath Ciel and backed up harshly. "No no no, you are NOT taking that from me!" He pressed up against the headboard of the master bed, holding his nightshirt as if that could protect him. His single eye was wide open and scared.

Scared....? Scared? Scared?! 

Astrey was scared of loving him! This always happened whenever Ciel wanted Astre to do something for him! Even if it was a kiss to the cheek, he absolutely would not do it until Ciel made him by putting his fingers...

His love would not be denied. This all-consuming monstrosity called love would not be only his to bear. Tonight is when he shares that love with his most special somebody, and not even that somebody can stop him.

He calmly crawled to his brother, reaching out and touching his pulse point. Excited shivers ran up and down his spine when he felt that unmarred spot meet his fingers again, so warm and comfortable. This was the only place on his brother that accepted his love. He could feel his brother's life against his very fingertips.

But apparently, even that spot hated him now.

When his hand was pushed away, when his brother said something about not being scared anymore, every thought he had was smothered under a layer of numbness. Everything went slow and still.

His brother could tell it too, given how he went equally still. When he looked into his Astre's eyes, he saw fear.

And he **snapped.**

A white hot rage slowly crept up, except it was cold, so, so freezingly cold. All he wanted was to thaw away that cold with the only way he knew worked surefire.

With warm, hot blood.

How could he have forgotten? This was a punishment, not a reward. He definitely couldn't reward his darling running off with pests, could he? Work first, pleasure after.

His brother only wheezed when he was pushed down onto the bed. He only really screamed when Ciel first bit down. A delicious, smooth texture filled his mouth and throat, lessening his anger somewhat, but that only made him bite harder, feeling warm, smooth skin give way to his sharp teeth giving birth to a special, sadistic inferno that came whenever his brother was naughty. He toyed with the idea of swallowing the flesh between his teeth, of going further. He could see it in his mind's eye. Astre, pretty, pretty Astre, with his ribcage broken and lungs trying to catch anything other than his own blood. Himself, stroking the dark red organ of love, feeling it beat directly into his palm, giving him a heady rush of love and twisted, sadistic, dark lust. Putting his mouth against it, feeling the last of its beats against his tongue when he takes a bite. It's a cobstant war in his head, whether to hug Astre delicately and comfort him, or to devour him with ravenous hunger.

When he pulled away, blood conected his lips to the wound on the perfect collarbone of his brother. Astre was panting, sweat clinging to his skin, eyes vacant and beautifully glistening with unshed tears. He cooed.

"You taste so **good** , brother. Here, taste it!" He smears his fingers in the dark liquid on Astre's chest, rubbing it onto the seductive plum colour on his lips until it became wine red.

"Hate you...." Astre sobbed, tears sliding down his cheeks in agony. Ciel tutted, stroking his cheek. Astre was breathing hard, fast as if he had trouble getting enough air in his sickly lungs.

"What is it, Astrey? Is it too hard to breathe? Is it because you love me so much?" He whispered, his eyes darkening when he sees Astre's turn to his, terrified.

"It's my love choking you, brother. I love you so much, it's entering your lungs and going into each of your cells and filling them up." He caressed Astre's hair as he laid on top of him. "Can you feel it? My love dripping into your lungs and making flowers there?"

"C-ciel--!" His brother closed his eyes and panted, arching his back as if that would help. Ciel just watched as Astre's mind fell into confusion, smiled when Astre, sweet, innocent Astre nuzzled his hand in that confusion.

"Breathe my love deeply, so it gets everywhere, Astre"

Astre's breath finally started to calm down, his chest falling and rising. Ciel pulled his brother up so his back was against his chest, rubbing his cheek against his brother's.

He whistled.

A hooded Polaris appeared out of the shadows carrying a covered tray. He gently directed his brother's attention there. Astre looked at the covered tray in confusion.

He nodded at Polaris.

"Do you remember one pest from our childhood?" He crooned to Astre. "The one who pestered you incessantly? The one who...had an accident?" Astre trembled in his arms. So adorable. Ciel stroked Astre's hair softly.

"Well," he says, smirking.

"I fished her out."

Polaris takes off the cover. A tiny head is laid sideways onto the metallic tray. The once beautiful raven hair was tangled and dry from the salty sea. Her green eyes so empty and cold. The scent of metallic, disgusting blood wafted over to the twins. Astre made tiny, terrified sounds at the back of his throat. His breathing picked up again. Polaris leaves.

"I'm sure she's quite disappointed in you." Ciel says reasonably after a while. "After all, you did kill her." Astre's eyes snapped open and into his. "I didn't kill her. Y-you did" he says in a much too high-pitched tone.

Ciel laughs and rubs his cheek against Astre's, resting the other onto the boy's other cheek, stroking it. "Oh, but you did. You watched her plunge into the sea. You didn't even try to help her." He whispers. "In fact, you were quite eager in our kiss afterwa--" "SHUT UP!" Ciel blinks, narrowing his eyes. His brother flinches when he notices, curling in on himself.

"J-just shut up." Astre sobbed, seeing a girl with her body missing does that to people. Ciel understands. He wrapped his arms around his twin, his broken, crying twin. He's so bloody and cute and nice all the time. Astre's so, so delicate. He remembers that one time he took his hand too fast, and it snapped. Astre cried a lot that day. Astre doesn't often cry, so Ciel started putting pressure on all the fragile, little bones on his undeveloped body more often. He liked it when they snapped and cracked and shattered. He wonders what would happen if he squeezed with all his might right now?

Astre's ribs would crack and let all the marrow juice out. Ciel would love to bite through his ribcage, like he could bite a carrot when they were younger. He's quite sure that nothing would be left of Astre if he ever decided to eat him, nothing but his soul, resting warm in his tummy.

"Relax, Astrey. After all, she didn't really love you." He said comfortingly, setting his cheek on the soft hair of his twin. "Not like i do." Nobody could ever love Astre as desperately and fervently as he did. He'd ensure that. He adores Astre far too much to let anybody else have him.

He pulled Astre up by the chin, to look into his eyes. "See, Astrey. I've been aware of all of your little "adventures" all along. I've known everyhing that happened to you. That's why i'm in such an old body" he gestured at himself helpfully. "I've known everything you've been through."

Astre looks at him incredulously. "Of course, i couldn't get a demon to sign a contract with me like you did, however..." he brushes his hair aside, showing his right eye to Astre. It was an oddly purple hue compared to his left one. He then poked at it. Astre flinched, only to hear a small clinking sound. He opened his eye wide.

"I had Undertaker take out my eye~" Ciel cooed, bringing heir foreheads together. "We've matched his entire time, every single day of our life. I've seen everyhing you've done, everything you've been through since day one."

Ah, well, that wound on Astrey's shoulder. Ciel makes his brother watch as he takes off his glove and tears at his own flesh with it, scratching and pulling pieces off until it's just as red and deep as Astre's. It stings his broken nerves, but it's for matching Astre, so it can sting all it likes. Astre's eyes go wide and close again, and when he opens them, they're empty of doubt anymore, exactly how Ciel wanted!

"There's no one who could possibly love you like i do" he said lovingly, and brought their lips together. He was delighted to hear a humming sound from the previously unresponsive Astre.

"Now, tell me, what have you learned?~"

Astre hesitates, before opening his rosebud mouth. "Y-you love me the most?" Ciel smiled and nodded happily. "And?"

"It's my fault Emma's dead?" Ciel hums in confirmation. He kisses Astre's cheeks lovingly. " and one more thing~"

"I can never leave you again, can i?" Astre says quietly, in tears.

"Nope~ if you do, i'll put your cute legs into boiling water until they melt away and you're left with stumps like Kelvin~" he cooed. "Maybe i'll keep your arms, so you can hug me. I like it when we hug" He traced Astre's arm, inappropriately covered up by his nightshirt. He started unbuttoning it, looking at his twin wih puppy eyes.

"Hug me, my little blue star?" Astre looked at him wih one blue eye filled wih emptiness, and lifted his small arms to wrap them around his neck. "That's good~" he purred.

"Now...our first time making love commences" he says in a sultry tone, his blue eyes boring into his other half's.

He gently pushes his limp brother onto the mattress, settling comfortably over him, and smiling in euphoria as he feels that pleasure again. He'll make sure his brother is pleasured beyond belief, until his heart is Ciel's along wih his body and mind.

Then, he will have Astre's soul, and they shall unite again. He can't wait to taste his brother's soul, the thing so many covet for themselves, yet only he can have all for himself. Only then, he will have all of his brother, all his, only his.

Love works in mysterious ways~

Ciel muses quietly while looking at his muse. This sort of thing is never really talked about in high society. But, he's a fast learner, and so is his little brother.

Finally getting the silky nightshirt off and away, Ciel's love surges up when he sees what's under the nightshirt. Smooth, pale skin blanketed over a perfect skeletal structure, so much beauty in one boy. It's his Astre. Like he's always dreamed he would look like, underneath all of the pretty clothes and ornaments, raw at his core.

Ciel's core heats up the longer he stares at his brother and soon he finds himself panting. Astre's eyes are closed tightly, so he strokes around them to relax them and make Astre open them. He wants to see those beautiful sapphires all the time. He loves him, Ciel loves Astre so much!

And of course, the red wound on his collarbone, like a drop of blood on a white rose. So poetic. Ciel wants to taste what's inside the white exterior, see if Astre's heart is as black as his.

Heavenly pleasure comes from between his thighs whenever he touches Astre, and it's slowly consuming him. He curiously strokes his brother's love over his clothes, and the reaction is beautiful! Astre arches up and gasps! It's so cute, cute enough for him to start dancing his fingers on the love underneath them.

He kisses at Astre's neck while continuing to caress his brother's love, sucking harder whenever he hears a sweet sound from Astre's dyed-red mouth. He's blushing furiously, Ciel can feel the heat from where he's peppering tiny kisses against Astrey's chin. He thanks Astre for not leaving or hating him with each touch of his fingers and lips. Ciel grows frustrated, something's not enough in what he's doing. So, like the insatiable devil he is, he moves his hips against Astre's own.

Both the boys let out a moan at the feeling, Astre covering his mouth with his hand in an instant, mortified. Ciel grins and takes him for another unwinnable battle of dominance in each other's mouth, all the while keeping up his hips' movement. He strokes all over his brother's face with his hands, cooing sweet, slightly disturbing things to his ear.

"I love love love love love you!"

"You're the best feeling i've ever felt"

"I'm never ever letting you go!"

Ciel starts grinding harder, a little faster, and infinitely more pleasurably. Ciel hugs his brother, burying his face into Astre's neck. His nails dig into Astre's shoulders. Astre instinctively hugs back at the moment the pleasure becomes too much. Ciel bites hard into the unmarred shoulder in his surprise at the strong feelings coursing inside him.

"C-ciel--" Astre chokes out, when he, like he were the first to talk out of the two of them, was the first to reach the height of pleasure, crying out as he climaxed. Astre had never felt anything like _this_ before, and he was not sure if it was good or bad. Ciel knows, he can see it in his twin's eyes.

"Astre~" Ciel moaned wantonly as he too succumbed to pleasure, his feelings for Astre all too insatiable not to come to his end. Both the twins breathed in each others arms, cuddling up subconsciously. Ciel had mellowed down a lot by how he was nuzzling Astre's cheek. Astre, trying not to think about how he had never said yes or no, just took it easy in the afterglow. Better not to make things complicated when Ciel was finally quiet and pliant for once in their life (and death) Ciel stroked Astre's cheeks peacefully as he came down from his afterglow, almost glowing in happiness. He had his first time with his brother! Ciel tried not to act too much like a lovesick girl, but if that didn't make him shy and lovesick then absolutely nothing would. Astre had fallen asleep from sleepiness, Ciel being all the more happy to snuggle up with him in the warmth of the candles and the heady darkness of the master bedroom. He didn't really need sleep, but watching his brother nuzzle the sheets proved too much for the young Earl. He fell unconscious as well, cuddling peacefully with his younger twin, together as a whole again.

All was right in the Phantomhive manor. For now, at least. You never know with an Earl like Ciel~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wrist is sore >A<


	12. Happy Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Astre finds love and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By ergisa 
> 
> Thank you!

Snapping awake with a gasp, Astre slapped his hands kver his mouth, tears still flowing in his eyes. Ciel mumbled sleepily next to him, his arms locked tight around Astre. Astre shook in fear as small hiccups escaped his hands, tears dripping down his cheeks. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down before he accidentally wakes Ciel. He can already imagine the lovesick expression on his face when he coos to him, showering him with kisses. Astre doesn not need that right now, no matter how nice it sounds.

He quietly thinks about his next move. Should he go back to sleep in Ciel’s arms? God forbid him if he tries to get them off and Ciel wakes up to see him do that. And the nightmare just now still shook his insides. No, not an option.

Should he risk it all and make a run for it? Ciel would definitely wake up and get mad at him. And where would he go anyway? Elizabeth and her family are not here, eh would never wake up Tanaka, the grandpa needs his rest, then who’s left....

His parents! Astre gulped, cold sweat breaking out. He hasn’t slept in their room forever, and he’s not sure... but anything’s better than suffering silently here! With a determined face, Astre looks to his twin, gauging him out. Ciel had buried his little face into the crook of Astre’s neck, mumbling all sleepy sometimes. Good, no way he’ll accidentally jostle him awake when he’s like this. Astre takes a breath, then he slowly, very very slowly, puts his hand on the one Ciel’s got on his chest, wrapping his fingers around it, heart pounding like he was going to die. A twitch, nothing else. He pulls it away from his chest to Ciel’s side. A sleepy frown, and an immeidate correction of posture. Astre groaned, this was going to take _forever_.

After many, many minutes of nerve-wrackingly wrestling with Ciel, even sleeping he was so, so clingy, finally he was out of the cage of arms his brother put him in. He cheered a little, immediately stuffing Ciel’s arms with pillows to appease him, and backed off. He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned. No reaction. Astre opened the door and slowly moved on the other side of it, closing the door.

And immediately falling on his knees, letting out a shaking, terrified breath he had been holding all that time. He breathed deeply and counted to calm himself down. That was the most rebellious thing he ahd done, since the library incident! Ciel would definitely throw a tantrum in the morning! But he was already this far, he couldn’t give up now. So with determination, he rose up and looked towards the ned of the hall, where his parents’ room was at.

Slowly walking through the hall towards their room, every shadow and window taunted him. He might get rejected, told he’s too old to sleep there now, told to go to Ciel if he’s so scared. He isn’t very sure of what was going to happen, but he can still remember the warm comfort sleeping with his Father and Mother had brought him when he was very, very young. With that memory fueling him, he pushed the door open and peeked inside.

Mother immediately looked up from her reading, smiling when she saw him. Father was already trying to sleep, but sat up all the same. ”C-can i sleep here tonight?” He said in a small voice, his throat choked up when he saw their loving eyes. ”But of course, Astre” his Father chimed, walking towards him and picking him up. ”Was it a nightmare, dear?” His mother asked, stroking his hair when Vincent placed him gently in their middle. He pulled the duvet up to his chest, nodding when she asked him. ”You can come sleep here anytime” Rachel told him gently, kissing his forehead. Astre just sat here, looking into space, before breaking into a happy, sweet smile,

Astre hadn’t felt like this in a long, long time. All thoughts of Ciel and his nightmare disappearing one by one, floating away like lanterns. He was so happy, so he smiled. His parents smiled too, Vincent getting underneath the covers along with his wife and child. Astre cuddled up to his Mother, who stroked his head and hummed to him gently. Astre had never felt so sleepy, and warm and fluffy, like he was made from wool. He thought about happy things, like the design for Bitter Rabbit, the front sign of his future toyshop, Elizabeth’s smile, When Edward ruffles his hair, this warm feeling. He got all sleepy and yawned, immediately covering his mouth and blushing. Father only chuckled while his Mother didn’t cease her humming. 

”Do you, um, love me?” He asked quietly. Mother looked at him in surprise, Father too, before saying ”More than anything else, Astre” she smiled while saying that, eyes crinkling up before stroking his cheek, tapping his nose, which made him giggle. ”Why ask that?” His mother said playfully, cupping his cheeks. Father chuckled and oatted Astre’s hair with his warm hands, gold eyes twinkling in amusement.  
  


  
Astre smiled again, before sleepiness got to him, he felt so, so tired. ”Cause i wanted to know if what he said was true....that you didn’t love me, that you never loved me...but i’m so happy that he’s wrong, and i’m happy you do love me.” He mumbled out sleepily, yawning and closing his eyes.

”Astre, darling, who said that?” His father was worried, but Astre didn’t hear it. He was too sleepy. Tomorrow Ciel would find what he thought to be his twin was only a bunch of pillows, go red in the face and screech until his parents came rushing and tell him Astre had come to sleep with them in the night. After that, Ciel would lock him up in their room, and huff and puff and start crying, maybe, that Astre didn’t wake _him_ up when he had a nightmare. Ciel would question Astre’s love for him with hellish eyes, and make him say that he loved Ciel until his throat was sore and raw and red, and then he would have to endure hours upon hours of cuddling and holding hands and getting bite marks on his shoulders. That would happen tomorrow.

But it’s not tomorrow yet. He won’t let thoughts like that obstruct him during happy moments like these.

Or Ciel will rip these small moments away too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short as frick, and i can’t do fluff, i’ve written too much angst /(-^-)/


	13. The whiff of a German Hound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diedrich gets suspicious about The Heir’s behaviour around Astre, so he does some snooping around.
> 
> And promptly regrets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I’m sorry i’m late, i haven’t forgotten you i promise 😚
> 
> Chao by zetsubo_bani and ergisa!

Diedrich narrowed his eyes once again at the dinner table of the Phantomhives. He’s been invited for a gtahering there, and it isn’t very odd of him at all to narrow his eyes, but Vincent asks him for a reason all the same. After all, his dog can tell him anything~  
  


Diedrich curses the man and keeps drinking the fine wine before him, missing the tang of an ice-cold familiar beverage. And again, his eyes drift to the eldest child of the Phantomhives, and narrow once again. The little brat smiles cheekily and waves at him, making Rachel and Vincent coo. His eye twitches, and looks to the younger one. The poor thing was obviously nerve-wracked, his little hands shaking as he tries to eat. Diedrich, in an act of sympathy almost unheard of him, holds the little one’s fork and offers it to him. Astre looks tiredly up at him, before docilely eating the piece of steak given to him. The boy is way too tired all the time. Vincent laughs, and Rcahel awws at him. But Ciel...

A sudden crack sounds in the dining hall, pausing all conversation as all gazes focus on the Heir. Pieces of a delicate porcelain cup are all over his food, the little fingers bleeding from the slices of porcelain. Rachel calls out and Vincent gets up in an instant. He calls for Tanaka and asks to meet him in his room, picking up Ciel and nodding at Diedrich to keep eating. He strides towards the door, when Ciel suddenly calls out.

”Astre! I-i want Astre...” Ciel tearfully pleads to his parents. Diedrich is close enough to see the younger twin tense so much he swears his tendons will crack, squeezing his eyes shut and frowning tight-lipped. Alarm bells start ringing all at once, but before he can do anything, Rachel calls out. ”Astre, dear, won’t you come accompany your big brother?”. Astre sighs, as if this is nothing new, and quietly says, ”Yes Mother...” and gets up. He takes Vincent’s hand, the one not carrying his injured twin.   
  


Rachel apologizes to him, but all Diedrich can think about is the smug, satisfied smirk Ciel gave in his direction over Vincent’s twin, his blue eyes an infernal dark colour.

Astre’s shakiness, Ciel’s attitude, the obliviousness of their parents...

He must investigate this.

____________________

Later that evening, Diedrich gets up from the guest room, puts on his clothes and sneaks out into the hallway. He’s pretty sure he knows where the twins’ rooms are, but this goddamned mansion is so damned huge it’s impossible to navigate. He growls in frustration. A lighted candle catches his eye, and he looks up. Apparently Tanaka is on his night patrol.

”Hey, Tanaka. You know where the kids’ room is? I was thinking about giving them a present early this year, cause i’m not coming around Christmas.” Tanaka looks at him and blinks, none the wiser. ”The young masters’ toom is on the second floor, the third room from the east wing. Please be careful, they’re sleeping and it would be a shame if they—” ”Yes, yes i got it, thank you for the help, i’ll see you tomorrow” Diedrich speeds past the old man tot he stairs, leaving the servant confused.

”If they woke up when you leave them the present.” Tanaka shakes his head, and continues his patrol.

Elsewhere, Diedrich is going as fast and as quietly as he can, before he hears a conversation coming from the kids’ room. They’re not asleep at all by the sound of it. He creesp closer tot he door, and starts hearing bits and pieces.

”you know that....no good...disobey me....”

”i know....-rry...won’t do it again...please..”

That doesn’t sound like a very pleasant converstaion they’re having, Diedrich frowns when he hears the shake of fear in Astre’s small voice. He gets even closer, and peeks through a convenient gap in the door, widening his eyes.

Ciel is pinning Astre down by his shoulders, looking so much more imposing and controlling than he’s ever done from what Diedrich remembers of him. He cups a hand by Astre’s shaking jaw, tutting and stroking over it in a way Diedrich is pretty sure is not appropriate for anybody to be doing to their family. ”If you had any problems eating, you should’ve asked me. I’m always happy to take care of you, little brother~” Astre looks up at him, a dull, sad hue in his blue eyes. ”I-i know, but he was just being nice! I really like Uncle ’Rich anyway, so—” He’s interrupted by a finger on his lips, and Ciel’s disapproving stare, probably. Diedrich breaks out in a cold sweat at the look in the kid’s eyes, the hue of a usually bright blue so endlessly dark with madness.

”No more of Diedrich, no more of other men, no more of anybody except **_me!_** ” The outburst makes both Diedrich and Astre flinch back, though only one can do it to anywhere other than further into the bed. Astre’s trapped, trapped against the bed and trapped with a psychopath kid who is also his brother! How long has this been going on!? Diedrich only barely restrains himself from barging into the room, watching Ciel take deep breaths and lean down closer to his scared younger brother to calm down, staring at the other boy through his bangs. ”You know what’d make me happier, Astrey?” Astre looks up at him in silence, before finally quietly fulfilling Ciel’s desires ”...what?”

The kid cracks out a smile, one that Diedrich has seen so often before. A bright smile, a cheeky smile, a ”i-am-not-a-brother-molesting-psychopath”-smile. His next words though proved that wrong. ”A kiss would!” The kid says, with all the innocent cheer and happiness of a five year old anticipating a gift with bright, sparkling eyes. He can see how Astre pales up so mich he almost leaves white and goes staright to gray. ”Y-you can’t be serious, it’s so late at night, w-what if somebody sees!” Astre attempts to plead with the crazy, which never works out. ”I don’t care, and, if somebody sees it, i think they should see it. They...” he leans down to close those final centimeters between them, to land a kiss, something so sweet turned so sinful, onto his blood brother’s lips. ”Should see how much i love you...how much i adore you...how much i yearn for you...” he says all this between kisses, through his brother’s struggling and mewling. ”...everything” Astre looks up to the ceiling after Ciel lets up, and Diedrich can only pick up a small, faint ”help me...” before Ciel bursts to laughter, which he quickly muffles and then looks down at his brother with a ”you’re-so-silly”-look. ”But Astrey, i am already helping you! I’m helping you to see how much i love you!” He smirks and leans down to face his brother and put their foreheads together. Tears start sliding down Astre’s eyes, and Diedrich can’t take it anymore. He steps back into the hallway, and breaks into a run, tears of his own bubbling up, blurring his vision.

He runs and runs and runs until he finally makes it to his own room and stops, panting, the implications of everything running through his mind. He’s so exhausted...

Diedrich collapses into bed, unaware of a pair of blue eyes narrowing when recalling seeing him through the gap in the door, a hand stroking a sleeping twin’s cheeks slowly and delicately, as if he were as soft and valuable as pure gold.

  
______________________

The next morning, he’s _this_ close to blurting everything out to Vincent when he catches himself, and thinks about how idiotic it would be. He had been sneaking to the kids’ room at night for suspicious reasons, and telling Vincent that his beloved eldest son was a molester would only get him a raised eyebrow and a question about his mental health.

So, he chooses to corner the sick bastard himself, and yes, he couldn’t care less he called a 9-year old a sick bastard, because that’s exactly what the kid is. Actually, the kid pulls him away himself, into a mostly empty room with stuff like tea bags and stuff. ”Ciel looks at him with all the cool indifference of his father when he’s slaying criminals, and Diedrich gets a similar shiver up his soine when he sees it. ”Alright then, let’s cut to the chase.” He growls. Ciel tilts his head innocently, smiling. ”You’re molesting your brother, aren’t you?” The kid’s smile falls off slowly, and becomes a frown. ”I’m not molesting him! He likes what we do!’ The kid growls back. ”That doesn’t change the fact that he’s your _brother”_ Ciel looks at him indifferently. ”So what? We were born together, we were meant to be together” the Heir gets stars in his eyes, in a crazed, delusional manner that chills Diedrich to the core. ”Kid, that’s crazy! He doesn’t love you the way you do him! How the hell can you believe that!” Ciel looks at him, annoyed. His blue eyes are narrowed and sharp, but Diedrich can’t heed the warning. ”i’m going to tell Vincent about this” he growls as a final warning. He turns away and prepares to leave the tea room, before hearing a curious voice.

”and tell him what? That you were stalking us in the middle of the night? That his beloved child is crazy? That his beloved child, who he’s seen grown up and sheltered, is evil and bad?” Diedrich turns back to the kid, wide-eyed. How did he...

”Of course i saw you trying, but you know your status is way too low for him to care. I’m his child, one he’s planned for and invested in as a heir for the Phantomhive family for a long, long time, even before our birth. You’re a dog, Uncle Diedrich, just a lowly, barely tolerable doggy.” The kid is smiling while saying all that, which makes Diedrich get goosebumps. The crazy kid stalks closer, in what frighteningly looks like real feline behaviour. ”You won’t say a thing, will you? Pinky promise?” He shushes childishly, with his finger on his lips, before extending his little white pinky out. Diedrich stares at him, mortified. ”No? Alright then, i’ll just go tell Papa all about how you came and creeped on us poor, innocent children last ni-” ”Fine.” He grits out, putting his rough pinky to the smaller one and curling around it. ”Fine.”

Ciel smiles like the cat that swallowed the canary, and Diedrich closes his eyes and feels the first trickle of guilt that would eventually consume him.

Poor Astre, he doesn’t deserve this, this crazy bastard obsessing over him. Diedrich would promise to give up sex, alcohol and sleep for the rest of his entire life if the kid would be afe from this monster his parents call ”child”.

If only he could...


	14. Hit The Town!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantomhive family decides to go on an outing when Astre isn't sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By zetsubo_bani!
> 
> Love your ideas btw

"Oh! Astre, Astre, look at this! Isn't it sooo cute?!"

"And what of that over there! It looks just like you! Ah, i want it, i want it, give it to me!"

Ciel was running around like a five-year old while Astre got dragged along with him, a bewildered expression in his eyes. Ciel was unusually excitable today, he thought, and his grip is a lot less looser today. Maybe he can--

"Ah ah ah, we are gonna hold hands the entire day!" And a squeeze of lithe fingers were his result. Astre panted once they finally, finally stopped before a toy shop. Mother and Father were sharing pleasant conversation and led them to the shop.

Astre felt a pang of wonder in his chest as he looked at the intricate detailing of the shop's interior. It was cozy, warm and filled to the brim with all kinds of toys. Imagining Bitter Rabbit on the vast shelves got him squealing in delight. He would definitely make his line just as popular as the toy trains Ciel was eyeing!

His mood improved significantly as they stepped further into the shop, where he could see a line of plushies posed in an action sequence. That was very clever!

Ciel glanced at the overjoyed Astre, and couldn't help but feel a comfortable warmth settling in his own chest. Blushing, he squeezed their hands together. Astre squeezed back! He squeezed back!

Seeing both of the twins in an ecstatic delight made the Phantomhive couple happy as well. They smiled and looked to each other, proud beyond words.

Astre was browsing a list of clothing lines the company had when Cirl tapped him on the shoulder. What would often be something to get scared of didn't lessen his good mood even by a fraction, as he turned to see a beaming smile and a stuffed blue toy bunny. It would be a perfect reference for his coloring and texturing project!

The older twin offered the toy to his brother and was happy when it was accepted. "For your future toyshop!" He said, smiling. Astre felt a spread of warmth in his chest, after aöl, younger siblings crave the approval of their elders. He was so happy Ciel accepted his dream!

"Thank you Ciel..." he said gratefully to his twin, who just laughed and smiled in response.

When he turned around to continue browsing, now with a small blue bunny in his hands, he couldn't see Ciel's smile twitching, just a tad.

Their parents were vey interested in clothing lines, Vincent admiring the looks of the red dresses and jackets, and Rachel loving how the hues of the blue suits and scarves looked. The two both blinked when they saw each other looking at these things in particular, before chuckling and reaching to hold each other's hands, smiling.

Ciel watched them wih his big blue eyes, and then looking to his happily reading twin, wishing that their marriage would be like their parents'. He was toying with a toy train that let out authentic sounds, placing a small doll onto the tracks and giggling when it got crushed by the automated vehicle. He wanted his twin now, so he strode over and hugged him, cooing.

"You got everything? Let's go!" He giggled, taking Astre's hand and leading them to their parents, who were exchanging with the toymaker for dresses and suits and holding up the toy train and stuffed rabbit, lookinh at them with pleading eyes. Rachel and Vincent relented easily for them.

Astre smiled when Ciel took the other paw of the blue rabbit and swung it between them as if it were a child once they were outside. Overall, it was a happy day, completely unlike the gloom of the manor, where Ciel could hide and lie and keep Astre hidden too.

He hoped that the blue rabbit would last at least a week before Ciel tore it into shreds in a fit of jealousy, like he did with Em--

No. This is a happy moment, and he wishes she were happy too, in heaven as an angel.

Astre looks up tot he sky and prays silently. Ciel looks at him and prays as well.

Anyone who comes between them will pray too.

It's been a nice day, and it'll be a nicer day still if Ciel allows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright tehn, wuth ergisa's masterful idea, i announce Questions & Answers to this book's character open!
> 
> Write your questions and who you're giving them to into the comments. Every user can comment on this story!


	15. Questions & Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions for the characters of this story? Put it down in the comments, and they shall answer!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By ergisa, ♡
> 
> ~Welcome To The Official QA chapter~
> 
> Ok, these are the ones by ergisa, i will continue to edit this chapter when i get new questions.

1\. Ciel did you really had to get Astres eye out and what were your feelings towards his contract with Sebastian

~The regal blunette smiles in an eerily happy way. "But of course i did" he says with a sweet tone of voice. "I could never let my beloved brother carry the mark of another, especially the demon that ripped apart my soul" his blue eyes shift to a glare. "I couldn't _stand_ it" ~

2\. Also for Ciel, did you rally mean it when you said you will make it impossible for Astre to leave you without a broken leg or the likes

~Silence keeps the room to itself for a while, before he murmurs, "If he's good... but if he's not, i can do much, _much_ worse." His eyes light up and shift in tone to a brighter blue. "I could eat them right off! Oh, his legs are but skin and bone, i know, but i just love the crunchiness!" He grins and brings his hands to his cheeks in a truly lovesick way. "I can almost taste them...~

3\. ALSO for Ciel [sorry not sorry you brought this on yourself, yandere brat ] have you ever thought of making Astre like yourself I mean undead

~"Sometimes, yes" he nods accordingly. "But i would also miss his taste. The living are different from the dead, but Astre is Astre, so he'd taste the same--" he keeps rambling in a creepy manner, almost arguing with himself,before finally coming to a conclusion. "Yes, yes i have."

4\. Starlight has your big 'problem' been giving you weird food again , dont worry he cant hurt you here you can say anything you desire

~the little blunette shifts nervously, holding his elbows. "Um, y-yes, he has been giving me weird food." He looks down tiredly. "It...makes me go sleepy and feel weird...i think he's trying to do something to me, cause i can't feel my toes anymore." He raises his little foot and tries to curl his toes, but nothing happens. He curls into himself. "I'm a little scared." He says trustingly, this strange space gave him a little bit of comfort after all. "Thanks again....'gisa" he chuckles a little, which devolves into coughing.~

5\. Have you thought of acting as lovesick so he can let his guard down and maybe try to escape

~He looks up in thought. "Acting?" He looks down to his feet. "I'm a very good actor, but i don't think i can." He gulps, shivering. "Not to him."~

6\. Is there anyone in the Manor you can ask to go search for help maybe to your aunts place or maybe even the Queen herself bunny

~"Escape?" He sighs. "I...don't know, if i'm honest. Maybe Elizabeth or Tanaka, they're the only allies i have here." He looks to his feet, before looking up. "Everyday, i feel my hope for escape get weaker and weaker...i'm not sure if i can hold on for longer..."~

BE  
STRONG  
HOPE   
AND   
DREAM   
YOUR  
NOT  
ALONE  
LOVE YOU SWEETHEART

~"t-that...that is so kind of you!" He cries, feeling so much better, feeling his hope become just a little bit stronger inside. "Thank you so much for your words!"

You too Ciel even thought I feel like kicking your ass sometimes

~"hmph." The blunette scoffs. "I'd like to see you try~"

FIRST : Undertaker have you done some kind of ritual or something that prevents Sebastian from getting in since he is a very powerful demon after all

~"hmmm, maybe~" the white-haired man giggles. "You never know what life gives you"~

SECOND : Undertaker you claim in a way that you care for the Phantohive family but then why dnot you help Astre from the suffering Ciel causes are you playing favorite's now

~The way i see it, Ciel is just postponing the inevitable, which is allowing me to make his younger brother and him match again" the mortician smiles. "I care for Astre in equal amount to how much i care for his twin, but it isn't MY business what they do with each other, now is it?" As long as the elder twin doesn't kill the younger, i'm happy that he's happy. And," the Undertaker smiles "Ciel is going to his plan on making Astre happy too, so there's no need to watch over them, no matter how much i want to"~

  
THIRD : So brat-*cough cough* Ciel are you trying to make a new poison and don't have anyone to test it on and decided on your brother tsk tsk I expected better from you seing as you claim to want to protect him and all

~"Poison? Whateever are you talking about? I have nooo idea what you mean, _gisa."_ The blunette smirks, it is clear to see how much exactly he knows~

  
FOURTH : Ciel how exactly dI'd you fool everyone to be able to 'adopt' Astre riddle me that did you make him mental or something

~"Oh, that bit was beyond easy." He yawns boredly to emphasize. "Once he was impriosned and brought to court, all i had to do was say some pretty words about brotherhood and kinship to have him" The blunette smiles softly. "Although i can't deny the thrill of finally being his legal guardian"~

  
FIVE : OK Ciel (since I took pity on you ) have you ever imagined Astre in a bunny costum or a kitten one and do you plan on making him wear one in the near future

~The Earl flushes "H-huh? That, i..." he's flustered by the images in his head and coughs to clear it, though he can't exactly get rid of images of Astre in any outfit. "...Maybe."~

  
AND NOW TO MYYYY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORD   
SIX : Starlight can you forget for one moment everything that's going on and imagine you can do anything you desire anything at all what would be 3 whishe's you would think of

☆"Oh, um, any wishes?" The small blue-haired child looks down to think, before looking back up. "For one, i'd like to relaunch Funtom again. Two, make sure my servants and associates are safe. As for three..." he gulps, tearing up. "I just wish Ciel loved me a little less..."☆

  
SEVEN : Have you thought about having a little bunny as a pet and if yes what color   
I know I said this before but .....your really the star that light the sky for me

☆"A bunny? Something that sweet and small could never withstand Ciel's jealousy though...but if i did have one, i think i'd like it any color, as long as it could live and be happy. I'd let it run around freely, cause i know if you trust something to let it go, it'll trust you too." He coughs, looking to the side. "Unlike a certain _someone..._ "☆

FIRST : To the twins parents ,which one of you is more of a protective parent and how dO you react when your child uncomfortable around strangers?

~The couple looks at one another before nodding. Rachel answers in a soft, warm voice "That would...*cough* myself...i love my children so much..." Vincent pats the lovely woman softly, and answers to the second question. "I see you mean Astre? Ciel often has no problems, but if Astre starts to get twitchy, it's best that my wife take him to a quieter place to relax." He tuts "He's a very shy child, but that is alright. We love him all the same."~

  
SECOND : Also to the parents, we all know that children are loved equallyand all butttttt you may feel a little bit more protective to ONE of them which is ?

~"I have a feeling Ciel also shares this sentiment, so we can say it with a clear conscience" The Earl announces. Lady Rachel continues " Our younger son is so very shy, and who wouldn't want to protect him. We love them both equally, but recently Ciel has taken it to be his responsibility yo start caring for his twin." She chuckles. "He even makes him food!"~

  
THIRD : Eduard do you have negative feelings for Astre because it's very obvious that you do to Cielo so I wanna make sure?

~The blond stares for a little, before coughing into his fist and looking to the side, blushing a little from embarassment. "I actually quite like the younger Phantomhive. It's very hard to NOT like him, he reminds me of Lizzy so much. She used to be very shy and quiet too. But that Ciel..." he narrows his green eyes. "What is there to even like?!"~

  
FOURTH : Astre .....why did you take your brothers name after ...that month PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND but I'm very sure that they would really be happy that it was you and not him please believe that. ....so ..why exactly did you feel the need to lie?

☆ "i-i'm not sure." The blunette shakes his fluffy head. "Everything from that time is hazy. I can't remember what i was thinking back...then." he looks up apologetically. "I apologize, my answer was quite unsatisfactory"☆

  
FIVE : Sooooooo Ciel~ *smirking * what would you do if I were to kiss and cuddle Astre hmmmm?  
Please author make it possible for him to see that image for some minutes and then make him forget about it PLEASE

~He glares and stands up, enraged. "Why, you little-" he takes a couple breaths, to calm himself down and collapses back to his seat. His eye twitches as his disloyal imagination thinks about that scene. Small, sweet Astre wrapped up in arms of another....the lips of another placing themselves on his rosy skin.... His eyes suddenly go dull, and then light up again. "Huh, strange. I feel like i'm angry, but i can't remember why..." his eyes snap up. "Did you ask somehing and then clear my memory?! How dare you!"~

  
SIX : *While pating Astre hair softly * - gasp I'VE TOUCHED THE ANGEL I'M BLESSED !!!

☆ The little one pats his head where he was rubbed, and blinks. "Um, thank you?" He flushes a little at the compliment. ☆

By zetsubo_bani

1\. Ciel, when did you plan on marrying astre (I mean that in what age)? Do you want to have a honeymoon with him and if so what would you do?  
And would it be a secret "relationship"? After all relationships (and especially marriage) aren't allowed at their time (not to mention the sibling part), but marrying would require a priest or something like that so you would have to make it some sort of public

~ It has been his dream for longer than he can remember. "A honeymoon? I would request a vacation from her Majesty under the guise of marrying Elizabeth. I'd love to take him to France. We both know the language, and Paris is the city of love, so romantic, don't you think?" He sighs dreamily with stars in his eyes. "But of course, eventually i woukd take him for my own legally. And fear not, once i am done with my plan for London, there won't be a sibgle priest or person to object" he giggles evilly, to make it perfectly clear he has ill intentions.~

2\. Ciel, how fast do you get jealous over astre and how often do you dream of him (and what kind of dreams)

~he thinks it over, and then cheerily says with a shrug "if somebody looks at him for more than three seconds, i'll attack'em" as for dreams... "Ever since he first smiled at me, i've been dreaming of marrying him!"~


	16. Halloween~!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the spookiest time of the year! Ahem, aside from all the others when Ciel gets in a mood--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By zetsubo-bani! 
> 
> Thanks for the request

Ciel was having a dilemma

Whether to kiss his brother all over, or bite him all over until he bleeds. Ah, but that would be too risky, they're at a party! There are too many guests everywhere!

He scratched his furry ears with his fake paws and admired the lovely visage before him, greedily drinking it in. They were at a halloween outing, and of course, dressed up.

His beyond cute brother was dressed up as a vampire for this halloween party, ironically making Ciel want to suck his blood. He himself was dressed as a werewolf, complete with ears and paws and a tail and a brown suit. But, for once, he isn't important.

Astre looks absolutely _gorgeous._ the black and red cape drawn around his thin shoulders, the way his hair was slicked back, and how the small fake fangs glinted when he opened his mouth all proved that correct. Ciel pretty much had little hearts floating around his head whenever he saw his little brother, which unnerved the vampiric twin. The younger twin was desperately attempting to not look at his brother, and the loud atmosphere really didn't help. He clutched his glass of strawberry juice anxiously, excusing himself to get a breath of fresh air outside.

He went out on to the balcony, and relaxed, looking at the full moon, for all three of the seconds it took for Ciel to notice he had gone away, get knowledge of where he had gone, and follow him there. The older twin threw his head back and howled once he was close enough, starting to giggle when his Astrey let out a squeak. The older twin wrapped his arms comfortably around the younger, relaxing and crooning to him like a mother wolf to her pups. The thought really unnerved Astre, who stood as still as he could.

"Finally alone, ah, i can't believe how crowded parties are." Ciel groaned in annoyance. Astre gulped. "...it's usually like that..." he shifts a little in Ciel's embrace. "...i don't like it...." Ciel blinks at him. "Why, aren't you talkative today, my lil' blue star" he was very, very happy. He decides to reward his Astrey.

Ciel cuddles his cheek to Astre's and says "You're so handsome today, my sweet. And so scary too, look at those fangs!" He pokes their tips, and revels in the protest it got from Astre. The other boy blushes and attempts to bury his face into his collar, but Ciel doesn't let him. "Oh yes, you're the cutest, scariest vampire there is" he takes his brother's face into his paws, and presses little butterfly kisses all over his face.

Ciel appears to be in a very good mood. Better keep it that way. Astre coughs, muttering, "you look really good tonight, as well..."

Ciel blinks once, twice. And then he blushes. His face goes completely red, he looks shyly down to his shoes and stammers through his next words before quieting. Astre sweaes he can even feel the tips of Ciel's hair brushing his face go hot. The reaction is extremely bizarre to the blue boy.

"Y-you really think so? Um, uh, thank you, Astrey~" Ciel is beyond flustered. He's so flattered and ecstatic and excited that all his thoughts jumble into a big, tangled mess. He does the only rational thing he can think of.

He takes Astre's cheeks and kisses him on the mouth as passionately as he can, summoning all his enthusiasm for the moment, which was a _lot._ The other boy struggles minimally, and even kisses back!

Ciel's completey sold, he went straight to the highest and most reluctant bidder, to his sweet, beloved twin. There was no competition, not really, because Ciel's heart beats for Astre and Astre alone. He gts pricked by the little fangs in Astre's mouth, and blood steats flowing between them. Despite Astre's renewed squirming, Ciel doesn't let it deter him, and once they part, a red, silvery string connects their mouths for the briefest moment before snapping. They pant, and embrace, looking for comfort and assurance for the intense feelings inside them.

Ciel's mind was a mess, but not a mess enough not to send a cruel smirk to his _beloved_ Uncle Diedrich, who had been just craving for a smoke and had happened upon an unorthodox act.

It's his fault, really, for execting anything less form the boy capable of blackmailing even his future fiancee and her family.


	17. Big Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel is Astre's big brother, and that's the only thing he's allowed to call him, darn it.

A small child of 8 years old stared at his brother reading. He himself had long given up on the task, but his brother persevered. A sudden urge, a craving almost, consumed him. And as a greedy child, he wanted it.

"Astrey, call me big brother~" The other boy looked up in an instant. "What did you say, Ciel?" Ciel got frustrated, he knows Astre heard what he said, he knows it.

"Call me big brother." He said in his _do it right now_ voice. Astre gulped and looked down. He opened his rosebud mouth.

"B-big brother..." a sudden thrill ran up Ciel's spine, a shiver of ecstasy he wanted again. "I didn't hear youuuu" he cooed, resting his chin on his hands, grinning.

His Astre swallowed again, and mumbled, in a clearer voice. "Big brother." Another thrill up his spine. He closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling. It was something about the power the title bestowed him, power specificaly over his little brother. Just the thought of controlling him excited the small child unhealthily much. He leaned over to embrace his little brother, cooing in dark delight. Even such an innocent thing was made twisted by the Phantomhive Heir.

Astre just laid there quietly, in the beast's arms, and wished for it to end.

________________________

"C-ciel--" "hush now" 

The two boys laid together on the bed, Cirl's face was buried in Astre's chest, the heart within going like he raced a mile. Astre was staring at the ceiling, afraid out of his mind. He had disrespected Ciel in front of their parents today.

It was an accident, he swears! It was an old instinct, the remnants of his shame flinching away from Ciel's touch when he tried to take his hand.

It felt like the entire world froze right over, Ciel's stare was so cold and dark. Father had noticed something was odd due to his keen sense for danger, and was bewildered. He asked the boys if something was wrong, and Astre once again saw how his brother snapped into the fake person he turned in public. This way there was no way to explain to his parents. Instead, he looked down.

Ciel had dragged him away into their bedroom and into his bed, and snuggled up as if all was right. Astre was smart enough not to fall for that. And soon he was proven right.

Ciel's small nails dug into his hand, he winced. "Is holding hands too embarassing for you now, Spare?" Astre's small heart gave a pang and he teared up. "My hand is still the same, look!" He showed his perfectly white and flawless hand to his counterpart. "Your hand is the same too!" He dug his nails harder in their intertwined hands and it hurt!

"It hurts! B-big brother, it hurts!" He cried, not even thinking twice about how he addressed his twin, before hearing a gasp. The grip on his hand loosened, and he cracked his eye open to look at his twin. Ciel was red in the cheeks and was looking at him with such reverent adoration it gave him whiplash.

"Y-you called me big brother..." he said quietly, smiling happily. Astre blinked. "You're not mad at me anymore?"

Ciel squealed "how could i be mad at my darling little brother! It was such a small thing too!" He dropped down to hug Astre, muzzling him and purring. 

"I love you little brother..." Astre decided to test out his hypothesis, though it was risky. "I love you too big brother..." 

Ciel squealed into his neck, and he flinched at the feeling. "You called me big brother again!"

From then on, Astre would address Ciel as big brother whenever he was mad to pacify him. 

Hey, Ciel manipulates him by calling him a title, it's only fair he do the same, right?

Silver linings.

__________________

Astre looked at his twin, cautious. Ciel looked spectacularly angry. Out of old habit, and some, eternal nuisance of care for his brother, he asked,

"What's wrong, brother?" 

Ciel's eyes snapped to him in an instant, making him regret his decisions in life, all of them. "Wrong!" Ciel yelled, his anger magnified. "You said it wrong!" His blue eyes were like hellfire.

"What did i say wrong!?" He asked, frustrated. Ciel always got mad and never told him the reason. This time though...

"I won't allow you to address me that way!" The Earl shouted. Astre flinched back at the volume. "Umm, Lord Ciel?" He uttered, maybe such a sentimental, familial title was too embarassing for the newly-titled Earl?

"No! Wrong again!" Ciel huffed, crossing his arms and pouting. He strode over to Astre, takibg him by the shoulders and gripping on tight. "It isn't even that hard!" He growled, shaking his stupid little brother. Astre grew dizzy, and shook his head to clear it.

"Big brother! It's big brother! Call me big brother" All the thoughts turned off in Astre's head as he heard that word. A thousand times flitted through his brain, of pacifying Ciel through that address. Another thousand of being forced to say it over and over until Ciel was satisfied.

It was apparent Ciel was still the mushy, sentimental boy who wanted a power trip from his brother calling him big brother.

Would it be better to give in? It would calm down Ciel...

But he's gone through so much, he isn't that same boy who was afraid any longer. He's grown, beyond any expectations anyone's ever had for him. He isn't the fragile and sickly little boy who had no choice but to submit.

"Gross...." he uttered under his breath, but Ciel heard it all the same. "What was that?" He growled. What had Astre left to lose anymore? Ciel had taken his home, his title, his family, his innocence, but he will not take his dignity. "I said you're gross, Ciel" he looked up at his twin, only to see wide blue eyes widen even further. "You're beyond gross!"

What was that? It looked like a bit of hurt flashed in Ciel's eyes, his bottom lip wobbling, but that couldn't be, because the next moment they hardened again. "Is that so? You think i'm gross, huh?"

Astre had a really bad feeling about this. Ciel traced the stitches around his temple, almost gently, before looking back to him and smilinh unsettlingly.

"You think i'm gross? Then i'll make you gross too. We'll be gross together"

Astre had a very, very, very bad feeling about this. Some part of him asked to beg for mercy, but he only tightened his lips into a thin line, staring at his brother.

Ciel let go of him, and turned around, slamming the door behind him. Astre fell back onto the bed, exhausted.

He thought he could hear crying, but that couldn't be possible.


	18. Valentine Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre sings about his loved ones. Ciel interrupts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by Hiii
> 
> Thank you! The song is Davy Jones from pirates of the caribbean

Astre's small heart was exhausted and full of feelings he couldn't describe. It was valentines, and ge hadn't seen who he truly loved in a month.

He thought of Sebastian, of Elizabeth. He thought of Snake, and Finny, Mey-Rin and Bard. He thought of Sieglinde, too. And her. His heart ached.

He remembered a song from his childhood, one that his mother always sung when she missed Father when he was on a mission for the queen.

With his raspy, hoarse, quiet voice, he thought of his loved ones, and sung.

_Cruel and cold,_

_Like winds on the sea,_

_Will you ever return to me?_

He thought of Sebastian in his darkness and mysterious haze, his deep red eyes and black as night countenance.

_Hear my voice sing with the tide,_

_My love will never die_

He thought of Elizabeth, her sweet voice and blonde hair in pigtails, with pink ribbons. Now she's dressed in blue, and her hair is no longer in pigtails due to Ciel's distaste for them.

_Over waves, and deep in the blue_

_I will give up my heart for you,_

He thought of Snake, Finny, Mey-Rin and Bard. They were the first true family he'd had since the death of his parents and Ciel.

_Ten long years i'll wait to go by_

_My love will never die..._

Then there was Emma, his first love.

He sniffled, wiping a small tear, before noticing a shadow behind him. His blood froze over. A headache formed immediately.

He turned around, to see Ciel's heartstruck eyes and trembling hands. This time he's really dug himself into a hole. It might as well be his grave, since in the next moment he was enveloped and _squeezed_.

"Oh Astrey!" Ciel squealed. "You remembered the song our mother sang when she missed father! I missed you too!" Another squeeze was given, and all Astre could think of was _Oh boy, here we go again._

Ciel continued. "I love love love love love you! I love you the most! Happy Valentines Day Astrey!" Ciel continued his excitable tangent, and all Astre could do was glare at him from under his lashes, and silently utter "You wish, you female dog"

Outwardly he couldn't say that, Ciel would get mad, but he could think it all he liked. Ciel could think the song was meant for him, too, if it pacified him.

Astre turned his eyes to the window, to the starry night sky, and wished he was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write funny, too much angst 😅


	19. Nightmare? Of me? I’m so flattered!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre gets a nightmare and Ciel is surprised about the content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by Rosie
> 
> I have too many requests that i want to write. Frick.
> 
> Either way i love youand thank you for requesting stuff ^ ^

”Hnnng” The older Phantomhive twin blinked softly at the sound, looking at his Astre’s little body. They had fallen asleep embracing one another, as they have a habit of doing despite the repeated warnings of their parents. What was Ciel to do, sleep without his twin? Utterly ridiculous. Anyway, Ciel frowned and pulled the sleeping twin up close, shaking him gently and patting his face and hair, lulling him to comfort. It worked, because of course it did, thye’re twins! Astre’s his brother, so of course he’d be comforted by Ciel. It only made sense Astre’d like him!

Awaking with a gasp, his sweet brother opened his blue eyes, his teary, ocean blue eyes. Ciel smiled at him, and leant in to nuzzle him, but was surprised to find his twin pushing him away and scooting back. ”Get away! Get away! Get away from me! G-get away from her...” the poor thing sobbed, covering his eyes with his hands. The first instinct Ciel had was a flash of hurt, a small, indignant feeling in his chest. How dare his twin push him away like that! Afterwards, Ciel understood that it was a nightmare, and he should first comfort his darling and calm him down. After that, Ciel froze up. A girl? In Astre’s dreams? A girl in Astre’s dreams!? Somebody else in Astre’s _dreams?!_   
  


He growled, nuh uh, no way, tough luck, Astre is _his_ , inside and outside and all over! He took a few breths and was pleased to see his twin mimicking the behaviour. He took a few experiment, and Astre’s sobbing turned to sniffles. Ciel hypothesized he had calmed down enough to touch, and tested out his new theory by taking Astre’s perfect, beautiful, delicate hand and pressing their foreheads together. It was a familiar gesture more than any other, and it had his brother quieting down even more. Now is the time for the conclusion. ”Who did you dream about?” _Bzzzt_ , wrong answer, Astre’s crying started anew, in full force. His little brother is so emotional, it is beyond adorable. Ciel would just live to taste his tears, but he’s aware enough that right now probably isn’t the best of times. He instead took Astre’s cheeks and kissed him, or treid to, seeing as the boy wrenched away from him and frantically crawled back until he hit the headboard. Oh boy, two wrong answers in a row? How rare, Astre isn’t usually this jittery after a nightmare. Ciel finally came to the conclusion he should ask what the petty little dream was even about, to get some context into dealing wih this situation.

Ciel smiled, friendly, and Astre smiled back, as he should, as Ciel has trained him to. It took his mind off of that other perosn in his dream, and put it right back on track, to Ciel. He’s the only one Astre should think about, anyway. Ciel cooed, warm, sweet, low, just what his Astre needs right now. His bout of sobbing lasts a little longer than the other, but eventually Ciel manages to get close enough to wrap his arms around Astre. He places his chin onto Astre’s head, and the other snuggles deeper into the crook of his neck. How sweet. How cute. Elizabeth has nothing on his Astre. She’s cute and all, but his Astrey is the single most cutest thing in the whole world, and Ciel adores him endlessly. Ah, he’s rambling too much, time for the question!

”Astrey, what did you dream about?” He asks in a warm, nice, soft voice, one that his brother is surely inclined to answer! ”N-nothing.” Astre’s reply leaves the air around them still and silent. _Bzzzt,_ wrong answer! But this time it was for Astre. Just what was the nightmare about? Ciel has drilled it into his head that he must always answer him with either a ”yes, big brother”, ”no, big brother” or a coherent sentence! To forget something crucial like this is unacceptable! Thusly, he raises his hand, extends his fingers and places them on Astre’s collarbone, expertly tracking their way around Astre’s shoulder, one, two, there! He contently pushes against it, that miraculous area on Astre, feeling the pulse beneath his fingers start to rise. He tries again, pleasantly, ”Astre, what did you dream about?” The answer is immediate, as expected.

Although, delivered quite hesitantly. ”I-i, you were in it.” He gulped, and another push was needed for him to continue. ”we, we were on the cliffside beyond the forest, and, a-and...” he squeezes his eyes shut and tenses up, but Ciel circles the spot, and squeezes him in his arms. Astre, defeated, opens his eyes, and states without further hesitation. ”I saw it when you pushed Emm...i mean Emenda off of it, again.” Ciel blinked incredulously. ”That was it?” He asked, wondering if his brother had gone mad. ”A-and you kissed me.” Well, wasn’t that a good dream then? For Ciel, he would thank the dream gods for giving him a dream like that! A stupid, insignificant girl died, and he kissed Astre! So wonderful, if it hadn’t already happened, Ciel would love for that to happen!

”Then why were you all scared of me then? That was a nice dream!” Astre looked at him, bewildered. ”No, no it wasn’t! She was bloody and torn up and, and, you were laughing a lot, and — i-i was scared you’d push me off too...” Ciel blinked, putting his hand on his brother’s forehead to check if he had a fever. Astre whined in confusion. No heat, so Ciel took Astre’s cheeks in his hands and brought him close. ”Oh, Astrey... i’d never push you off of a cliff...” Astre seemed to sigh in relief, but he, for some reason, freezed up when Cile continued.

”That would be way too anti-climactic! I’d tie us together and have the servants set us on fire! We’d be together in our final moments, and our ashes and bones would get mixed together! Isn’t that so nice....but, plunging off a cliff while holding each other would be pretty romantic too...” Astre gulped, a cold sweat breaking out. Ciel rushed to soothe him, ”But no worries, first we’ll live a full life together forever, and only then can we do one of those things! Whichever you’d like, Astrey? I love both of’em.” He pet Astre’s soft hair, and held his shocked body close. ”Don’t think about her anymore? She’s a thing of the past, useless, a one-time toy that broke immediately, like the paper horses we made last summer. You really should focus on the future more, Astrey” he cooed, teasing, playful. ”You dwell on the past so much you’re gonna be a ghost!” He giggled, and then intertwined their hands together. ”Instead, you should focus on the things that _really_ matter, like me! I’m gonna matter forever, so you really _shouldn’t_ be so concerned about other things.” Ciel smiled at his teary twin, taking his hand and kissing the back of it, for comfort, for security, for reliability. He is all of these things and more. He is love, he is warmth, he is safety. And he got a bit jealous about other people occupying Astrey’s mind, it should be a space for him and him only.

Astre’s blue eyes looked down, and Ciel let them, on the basis they would look up at him a few moments later, with that mirror-like gaze that had Ciel heartstruck every time. Be it a nightmare or a dream, he was always there no matter what, even if Astre tried really, really ahrd to dream of other, insignificant people, Ciel would always be on the forefront of his mind. ”C-can we go to sleep now? We’ve got studies tomorrow...” Astre tried to close his eyes, but Ciel kept them open, prying them apart childishly until his brother whined. ”Not until you give me a goodnight kiss~” Astre looked at him with tired eyes, such, cute, pretty, easily malleable eyes. His brother was like clay when he was tired, so easily influenced. Ciel fluttered his eyes closed, a blush forming on his cheeks as he felt the small lips of his twin press against his own. His heart was pounding, and he felt light-headed. It was almost embarassing, he was so much like a woman in all those romace fictions he sometimes read, but he couldn’t help it. It was Astre, after all.

”I love being in your dreams. Dream of me more, Astre” he whispered a command to his half-asleep brother, who ddin’t indicate he heard him, but Ciel was sure he did as he was told, given by the unusual amount of silence his brother emitted at the classroom tomorrow, flinching away when Ciel tried taking his hand. Ciel liked thinking about what Astre had dreamt about him. He liked doing tests and pushing limits, like a guessing game. He liked the way his little brother still sought comfort and care from him once he’d woken up. He liked the way he was so susceptible to commands the next day, all because of an imagined fear that Ciel would do something to him. Ciel would never, ever do anything not necessary to harm him. Ciel loved to hold Astre’s hand when he calmed down. Ciel loved the expressions on his face while he was still asleep, the little sounds, the small movements. He loved the way it was only their secret, never shared anywhere or to anyone outside of themselves. He loved Astre when he was awake. He loved it when he was asleep. But only one state Astre could be in was Ciel’s favourite.

He loved it when Astrey had nightmares!


	20. Locked Up Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel decides to postpone his brother's imminent fate, and punishes him for making him hurt instead.
> 
> It doesn't go as he planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by ergisa ^ ^

"Ciel! Let me out! This isn't funny!" Astre yells from inside the basement dungeon, he didn't even remember they had one. Sebastian really had replicated everything in perfect detail.

"It isn't _meant_ to be funny, Astre!" He hears a voice yell back. It feels, strangely, like some of the childish arguments they had as small children. "It's a punishment! A punishment for making me mad!" Astre groans and bangs his forehead against the metal door, creating a sound that resembled a pile of pans clattering on the ground. "You'll stay in there and think about what you've done" Astre doesn't respond, rolls his eye at the way his brother tried to sound like their parents, and soon he hears his brother strutting away like the peacock he is.

Astre looks around, stone wall, stone wall, stone wall, stone ceiling, and a gazillion blankets and pillows laid on the ground. Typical Ciel, even if he's mad and tries to punish him, he still gives some form of leeway, usually it's a way to back out of words he has said that could potentially anger him if said any further, but this is the first time it's dozens of sheets on a dungeon floor. Astre gets comfy in the middle of the pile, and, in boredom, swipes his forefinger on the ground. No dust, no dirt, not even a small stone was caught. He scoffed, Ciel really wasn't even trying to make him uncomfortable, every surface of his prison was scrubbed clean ten times over.

Astre spends his time in boredom, looking at the depressions in the walls, trying to imagine where they came from. Perhaps a knife struck the wall? A stone was taken out and smoothed over? A wall lamp removed? 

When is Ciel com--

"No!" He gasps, shooting up to sitting. That is exactly what that bastard wants! To bore him enough to make him miss any sort of stimuli! Astre growled, now that he's seen through that plan, he supooses he'll have to start a counter-attack.

So, he walks from wall to wall, picks at the stitches of the blankets until they unravel, and ties the ends into knots, only to unravel them again. He really wishes he had a good book. Maybe he can ask Ciel for one once he --

No, no, no! Astre groans, pushing a pillow onto his face. His method isn't working! Just how is he to keep from falling into Stockholm Syndrome when there isn't anything to do!

He rolls over on he pillows, just lounging there, staring at the ceiling, when one of the depressions catches his eye. It sort of looks like a pair of glasses...Mey-Rin... she always couldn't see right, even if she had them! He remembers so many times of her tripping and dropping something fragile!

Another one looks like a misshapen hat....Finnian.. that hat was just something that catched his eye at the market, and he gave it to Finny without a thought, but that hat was so precious to him all the same, simply because he adored his Young Master so much.

And that one right there looks like a cigar...He remembers buying that candy cigarette for his chef to help him get over his smoking addiction, so far, it had worked. He wonders if Bard still does smoke.

And then there is a depression the shape of a coat-tail...Sebastian...he carefully touched the bandaged left eye of his, and winced at the emptiness. It had truly hurt when it was taken out, the split of the contract leaving his mucles aching and spasming for hours afterwards. He wonders how the demon is doing.

Perhaps looking for another soul, oerhaps sticking with him. Who knows? With Sebastian, you never know. That was one of the things he liked about him. Not that there were many, but at least some.

Wihout realizing it, Astre had sunken into the land of his memories, thinking about and analyzing each adventure he had gone through, the allies made and lost, the enemies conquered and the ones still running free. The life he had before him was not perfect, but it was so fulfilling and full of happiness, though the dread of being discovered as fake was always there.

He was just daydreaming peacefully, when the door slammed open and he looked up to see his pissed off twin brother in the doorway. Ah, here we go again.

"Just exactly why aren't you screaming out in despair and losing your mind!?" Ciel asked indignantly, his plan was so clever and well thought-out! Lock Astrey up, leave him to be bored for a while, make him miss him due to lack of stimuli, make him fall in love with him eventually, and then take him out! But those steps had...a few complications. Mainly Ciel getting anxious and jittery without his twin by his side, the craving to hold his hand too strong to resist. And now his brother didn't even seem to be bored! How unpleasant!

"Oh, i'm losing my mind, alright." Astre replied wih a certain snark to his tone that had Ciel's heckles raised wihin the moment. He growled. "That's it! I'll put you in your place!"

He stomped over to Astre and took his ~~_fragile pretty soft_~~ arm threateningly. _That_ got him to pay the right kind of attention on him, the one that was vigilant and unbreakable. He pulled him up to stand, and his cute Astrey subconsciously took a hold of his shoulder. That made him a little less angry, and he flushed a little. But he was still angry.

"This wasn't good enough, huh? Let's see what you think of my next idea." Ciel grinned, showing sharp teeth. Astre felt cold all over, especially in his chest and the arm being held by Ciel.

That didn't sound good. That didn't sound good _at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i missed the point of your request. I'm sorry 😅


	21. Of Ugly Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astre hits the last straw and bolts out of the manor. When questioned, Ciel can't keep the act up anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by ergisa, zetsubo_bani and Hiii
> 
> I know its been a long time since this got requested, but i haven't forgotten it

"No more! I said no more!" Astre's raspy voice cried out. He pushed off the shocked twin and stood up straight, his lower lip trembling. He ran out the door and across the dimly lit halls. Ciel's hand was frozen in the air, unable to recover from his shock. This was the first time Astre had rejected him physically and ran away from him. He _ran away from him._

His hand clenched into a fist.

Meanwhile, Astre reached the sitting room, his eyes low to the ground. Mother and Father noticed him and called his name, asked him what was wrong. He couldn't hear it, the pounding in his head too consuming. He opened the door, much to his Mother's protests, and ran outside. Vincent and Rachel looked to each other, concerned, when a ruffled Ciel arrived. "Have you seen Astre?" He asked.

"Yes, he went outside. Ciel, what happened? Did you argue?" Vincent asked, his chin rested on his hand. Ciel scoffed, his arms crossed "Yes, that stupid Spare couldn't handle being locked in our room all day and yelled at me. He yelled at ne! Who does he think he is! When he gets back home i'm going to give him--" he gasps, coming to himself again, and nervously looking into the direction of his shocked parents. Still, he continued. "A big...punishment....."

"Ciel Phantomhive!" His Mother said sternly, rising up from her chair besides his Father. Ciel flinched, looking down. "How dare you talk of your brother that way! And even lock him in your rooms! For how long has this gone on!?" Ciel bit his lip, and didn't say anything. His mother's eyes widened in realization. "Each time you told us he was sick....he was in your room?" She said in a low voice, coming to a horrid realization. Vincent patted her back, and faced his son, with a cold expression. Ciel flinched back, his shoulders quivering. "You have earned yourself quite the punishment, young mister. Go to your room and think of what you've done while we wait for Astre. That should be suitable enough until we think of what to do with you." 

All Ciel could do was grit his teeth and nod, forcing a cordial "Yes, Father" through his teeth and turn towards the corridor to their room, the first sparks of hate making their home inside his heart.

___________________

Astre sniffled, wiping his tears into his sleeve before glancing to the lights of the manor. The crashing of waves acted as the background to his melancholy. He was by the cliffside, swinging his legs over the blue waves. He forced himself not to think of her, and instead of his current situation.

Ciel would be so mad. He swallowed, afraid. He didn't know what would happen once he went back, Ciel would be mad for one, but he had no way of knowing how he would express that madness.

But he couldn't stay hete much longer. The cold of autumn was already settling into his bones. He whispered a farewell to his dearest friend and got up, turning towards the manor. The walk back was silent and excruciating, each step making him feel sick and disoriented, the wind whistling by almost toppling him over. Somehow, someway, he made it back in one piece, he placed one shaking hand onto the handle and pushed. He closed his eyes.

"Astre! Are you alright?!" He heard the gentle voice of his mother, and opened his eyes, beibg taken into a warm embrace. He tearfully nodded into her shoulder, being picked up. He glanced around, Father, Tanaka and Sebastian were all there, but his twin was nowhere to be found. He sighed in relief, but still asked, curious.

"Where is Ciel?" Mother tensed, before patting his head in calming way. "He is in punishment right now, he said some nasty things earlier." She explained helpfully. He sighed in relief again, they hadn't found out about his relations with Ciel. The shame and anxiety of it would kill him before his asthma inevitably did if they ever did find out. It made him feel better, knowing his shameful secret was safe.

Rachel quickly glanced to Vincent, and winked, their decision to not specify on what Cirl said proved to be a correct one. She gently let him down onto the ground and placed a hand onto his small head. "The Midfords will be here soon, and since Ciel is in punishment now, why don't you go keep them company?"

Father nodded, smiling "Tanaka and i will make your favourite food for dinner. Come, Tanaka, let's begin." The butler nodded understandingly, got out his apron and put it on, following Father. Sebastian came over and nosed his cheek, not in the pokey way he usually did, but in a licking way.

A small ember of warmth sparked in his chest.

___________________

Ciel attempted to control his breathing as he squeezed the desk before him tightly, shaking, face pressed against it. He glanced up again, and closed his eyes in pain, unable to bear it. He put his face into the palms of his hands, groaning. Why did he have to spill everything out!?

Astre, _his Astre,_ playing with Elizabeth in the garden. There was no pollen this time of the year, so it was safe for him to go around there, and Elizabeth was nice enough to sliw down whenever he needed to catch his breath. He smiled at her, and Ciel threw his cup at the wall, the shattering sound of it only a temporary reprieve. He hated this feelibg of powerlessness, of only being capable of watching and not intercepting such a sickeningly, disgustingly, irredeemably sweet scene as the one of Elizabeth hand-feeding Astre strawberries they just picked, of Mother wiping the juice off his cheeks, of Father patting his head. He was pretty sure he was supposed to be jealous of _Astre_ , not _their family._

He panted in exhaustion, sadness and endless, oh so endless frustration. The imagining of snapping their fingers one by one made it easier to bear, along with wringing their necks and ripping out their teeth. He was unsure why the small spark of hate earlier had grown into auch a vioment wildfire, but he wouldn' stop it.

No, he would let it grow, and see how many of them he could burn down, hear their screams and kiss Astre while doing so.

Burning down? What a nice idea...


	22. Dear Astre...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel writes a love letter for the person he loves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By zetsubo_bani
> 
> This double update is for ergisa, so she may not feel frustrated.

Jittering with excitement, Ciel dips his quill into some ink and looks at the piece of paper before him. With a slightly shaky hand, he writes.

_Dear Astre_

Ciel takes in a deep breath, and then remembers to add in an oxford comma. He scribbles the next sentence.

_It's me, your twin brother, Ciel_

That should be a good introduction, now intot he real content. 

_I love you._

Ciel frowns, this is way too plain. What should he add? His thoughts go a mile a minute, before just decidding to spill it all out. Nobody will ever see this, anyway.

_I love you. I love you the most in the entire universe. You are my twin, my other half, my soulmate. I would do anything for you, even..._

What would be a good thing to show him how much he would do for him?

_Even eat dirt!_

Ah, no no no, that's too vulgar!

_Even give you the sun!_

That is pretty grandiose though... maybe something smaller? Ah, but Astrey deserves only the best! What would be a good thing... oh!

_Even give you the moon!_

_I don't truly know when my feelings for you began, and i sometimes wonder if they are even real. But believe me when i say this, and not in a narcissistic way, that you are the most..._

Beautiful? Dazzling? Pretty? Cute? Adorable? Lovable? Glorious? Amazing?

_Gorgeous human being i have ever seen. My love for you runs deeper than any ocean and burns brighter than any candle. I love the way you smile, so secret and small, only for me to see. I love the way your nose crinkles uo when you laugh. I love the way your eyes twinkle when you tell me about a new book you got. I love how your hair feels against my cheek when we hug._

Ciel blushes at the next part.

_I really wanna kiss you, and hold hands._

He hid his face in embarassment, blushing to the tips of his hair.

Still, he continues.

_I wanna marry you when we get older, and be Earls together. I wanna go on a cruise with you and see all kinds of new things. I wanna do everything with you, because i love you so much._

_I even wanna have a child with you, and maybe name them Noel, after Christmas, our birthday. But only if you want to too._

He promises.

_I'll never do anything without your permission first. I promse i'll take good care of you for as long as we live and forever after._

_With love,_

_Your..._

Future husband? Too sudden. Your brother? Astrey knows that already.

_Your other half, Ciel Phantomhive_

it's sappy, but it is the most true thing he could think of at that, emotion-filled moment.

He rolled up the paper and hid it in a drawer in their room, underneath drawing papers and origami and trinkets of various kinds they keep there. If Astre ever found it, he didn't say it. It stayed there until their tenth birthday, a secret confession of his feelings for his most beloved person.

It burned down with the rest of their manor, but Ciel always remembered it and still remembers it now, after all this time.

It's his most precious memory, along with Astre smiling for the first time.

What bliss~


	23. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel gathers his courage and, when the time is right, tells Astre how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requests keep me alive Q Q

One day, one sunny day in the Phantomhive manor, Ciel's heart pumped as fast as it could, but couldn't keep him from feeling light. His brain was in overdrive, and his face was redder than the strawberries he and Astre ate sometimes. They're tasty.

Astre, small, sweet, innocent Astre blinked at him, confused. He had been reading a nice book on philosophy when his brother barged in and threw himself at him. Ciel tried so hard not to squeal when his broher smiled at him, so, so hard, but he couldn't help it.

"Astrey!" He squeaked, rubbing his cheek against his brother's. It was so soft and smooth and felt just perfect! He wanted to keep rubbing against Astre forever and ever and ever!

Astrey was not very good at expressing himself, but he tried very hard still. He pushed Ciel away to cease the energetic rubbing against his head, but still kept a hand on his shoulder to placate him. Astre composed his words carefully.

"Hello Ciel. How has your day been?" He saidit as politely as he could while his face was smushed into the crook of Ciel's neck, the boy having placed his head there gently. Ciel being close made him want to simultaneously back off and awy and hug on tightly as well. It caused a mix of conflicting feelings in Astre's small head.

"I'm great now that you're here!" The older twin replied cheerfully, peering down at his younger counterpart. Astre was pouting at him in that ever adorable way that made hum want to squish his cheeks and coo to him. He knew Astre was a big boy, but that didn't help his want to treat him like a baby and take care of him until they died. Maybe when they're older he can marry Astre? That'd be nice.

"Umm, Ciel?" The younger brother leaned closer, adjusting comfortably to cuddle and opened his big, starry eyes to his rapidly melting big brother. The lovestruck boy hummed, and hid his trembling, red face into Astre's hair. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about?" The blue boy placed his hand on Ciel's intertwining their fingers together and smiling up at him. Ciel stared at him blankly.

Inside, Ciel was exploding. There were fireworks going off in his brain and he was a mess by the time he got anything out of his trembling, heavy mouth. "I-i just wanted to say that i really, r-really love you!" He squeaked and hid his face into Astre's hair again, blushing his blood out. The starry boy blinking at the weird statement.

"I know you love me, Ciel." He turned around and took his twin's face into his hands. He smiled, little pink hearts swirling around him in Ciel's vision. "I love you too!" The world was suddenly gone, nothing but his brother remained in Ciel's eyes. Nothing but the small, gentle smile on Astre's face mattered in that moment. His eyes started to water, blurring his vision further, and he collapsed into Astre's arms, knowing they were the arms of the one he lived for most in the entire world. He sniffled and snuggled into Astre's chest, not trusting his vocal chords to not start singing love serenades instead of proper sentences. His little heart was pumping so fast he was sure he would get a heart attack and die right here. What a wonderful way to die, such a happy moment of euphoric sensation.

Ciel truly did love his brother. He pushed Astre down to cuddle him better. "Ciel! I need to continue my studies!" The younger brother whined, instinctively curling around his brother in synchrony. Ciel felt small, and fragile, and breakable, vulnerable, here in Astre's arms, curled tightly around the body he had been curled around since birth. It felt so good to feel vulnerable and open like this, held in the arms of someone he knew loved him and would never even dream of leaving him.

Such a terrible thought, that of separation. How is he to live without his brother? His dearest twin, his Astre? He wouldn't he would die immediately, cold and tragic and--

~~_Alone_~~.

"Don't ever leave me." He hiccuped, tears sliding into Astre's hair. Don't ever, ever, ever leave me alone." He tightened his arms around Astre, trying to control his breathing. He always got like this whenever he thought of separation, anxious, scared and vulnerable in a not good way. "Promise me!" He cried out, hugging Astre close and sobbing fully into his shoulder.

He felt small, soft hands over his back and cheeks, rubbing him soothingly in a way that made him focus on the sensation instead of the feelings overwhelming him inside. Astre was an expert in distracting him. Whether intentionally or unintentionally. He finally, finally calmed down, and mumbled unti Astre's ear.

"I love you the most in the entire world."

Astre thought of books, of flowers and his parents when he heard the word "love". He thought of chocolate and syrup and tea. But most of all, he thought of his twin.

"I love you the most in the world too." He answered, hoping to soothe his concerns. Cirl has always been like this as far as he remembers, swinging from one emotion to another, never stopping, never having breaks in between. But he always loved Astre, no matter what mood he is in.

He settled them onto the couch comfortably, in a position to remind Ciel of warmth and love and security. He needed to calm him down and make him relax. He heard Ciel's breathing go even, fingers loosening their grip. Ciel was staring at him through half-lidded eyes, breathing through his mouth, making little circles in Astre's hair. He raised his head to kiss Astre's forehead in affection. These movements strangely soothed Astre too, and, despite his conscience screaming at him to study more, he followed his twin to the land of dreams.

"I love you." The twins mumbled in unison, as a last act before succumbing to their sudden exhaustion..


	24. Donation~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciel is low on blood, and gets the brilliant idea of sharing his Astre's blood!
> 
> The other boy isn't all that happy though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by ergisa ^ ^ 
> 
> Thanks!

Frowning in thought, Ciel Phantomhive looked at the empty vials before him. All of them were labeled Sirius, for him, but he was really low on supply and Undertaker was taking forever to get more.

As usual, his thoughts drifted to his twin, the blood red colour on the bottom of the vials made him think of Astre's strawberry blush and his mouth, such a delectable shade of velvety....blood.

Astre's blood!

Ciel slapped himself on the forehead and winced at the impact, berating himself. Why hadn't he thought of that before! He must tell Undertaker his idea!

While waiting for the reaper to come back to the manor, Ciel fantasized. He has had Astre's blood before, when he was still immobilized. His body had apparently got an orgasmic reaction, Undertaker told him so. It was Astre, of course his body would react with infinite pleasure! Ciel ran a finger over his lips, wondering how the feeling of Astre's smooth, velvety red blood would feel trickling down his throat. Oh, it must be heavenly!

So very heavenly!

Once Undertaker arrived wih the new batch of blood, Ciel discussed wih him of his brilliant idea and of how to put it in motion. Undertaker agreed, and even told him he had prepared for this occasion, pulling out equipment out of seemingly nowhere. Ciel had no time to think about trivial matters such as a space pocket behind his reaper, and instead gazed lovestruck into the eyes of his brother, who was startled out of a slightly less unpleasant dream by the upbeat entrance of his big brother. He blinked his big, blue eyes at him, before tiredly glancing at Undertaker.

And noticing the bloodtaking equipment behind him.

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open in what Ciel could only describe as an ecstatic yell of pleasant surprise, except that his brother immediately backed up into the opposite direction in a flurry. He tilted his head, confused, but happily gave chase and grabbed his sweet twin. The little one screamed and thrashed in his arms, making him tut and press on the miracle spot aggressively. His brother, instead of calming down, swooped down and bit his finger. Ciel took his hands back and Astre immediately amde a break for it, stopeed by Undertaker pinning him down, and motioning for Ciel to come hold him. "Please---" his brother gasped wetly, pleading for him so sweetly. Ciel purred, intertwining their hands together, pressing his forehead gainst Astre's sweaty one. "No---" his brother inhaled, coughing a little, making Ciel shush him and kiss his forehead while Undertaker prepared to do his magic.

Astre kicked at him, making him have to start all over again because of the glass falling ontot the floor and shattering. Ciel frowned and pinched the spot to discipline him. This would only take a few minutes tops! There's nothing to be afraid of! They're just gonna share blood is all!

Astre only sobbed louder though when he told him those things, and struggled more. Ciel had no problem keeping his weak body under control, but he was a little upset at his brother's behaviour. Didn't he know that Ciel loved him and only wanted what was best for him? W-wasn't he a good brother?

Ciel's leaking worries and insecurities flew away wih the dust when he took his first sip. The Undertaker had pierced Astre's arm with a hollow needle that led to a straw-like tube with many metal parts. Ciel held his dear in his lap and sucked on the "straw", feeling pure ecstasy start coursing through his veins. It felt so soothing, being close to the one he was drinking from, knowing that he was loved and that he loved that person deadly much. Astre cried, his tears seeming endless, but Ciel continued to suck on the straw.

Astre could only watch and not do anything as his lifeblood was painstakingly slurped away by Ciel's delicate mouth. He felt increasing horror start growing in his mind, as he eatched he red liquid travel through the transparent tube to between Ciel's white lips. He suddenly started feeling weaker, more weightless. He knew it was because of anemia, he really wanted to pass out right now in order to escape his terrible reality.

Undertaker watched his dear boys bonding, happily smiling when the older child smiled with the tube between his lips, and starting to frown a little when Astre's skin got paler and clammier. Ciel eas holding the other boy really tightly, not exactly concentrating onto the device in his mouth, making haphazard slurps here and there, and it was increasingly obvious how increasingly uncomfortable Astre was becoming at having his blood sucked from his veins in such a messy way.

"That's quite enough" he chuckled, making a frown when Ciel didn't answer, continuing to feed. Astre was starting to breathe heavily now, his eyes wide in a panic, and fear of death. "Ciel!" Undertaker raised his voice. No reaction. It wa sjust when Undertaker was almost forced to abort the entire operation was it when Astre raised his hand and tugged on his brother's arm, muttering, "Big brother."

Immediately Coel snapped awake and let the tube fall from his lips, blood trickling eveywhere. He looked at his brother, pleased. "You remembered our word!" He cheered, pinchibg the cheek of the other, becoming a bit worried when color didn't appear on the white cheeks.

Undertaker blinked. They apparently engaged in such activities that Astre needed a safe word. He shrugged to himself, taking out the needle and bandaging up the little pierce mark it made. It wasn't his business what they did with each other, if only Ciel doesn't kill Astre, then he's fine with it. Undertaker rolled his little carriage out of the room, humming to himself 

When the twins were alone, Ciel took Astre cliser and started rocking them as if they were babies. Astre felt exhausted and weak and wrung out of every bit of liquid he had inside of him, all fed directly to Ciel. He glared at his brother. Ciel didn't notice, blissfully nuzzling into his brother's hair, fanatasizing again. Astre's blood had felt like silk! Like the finest wine ever craeted, and just as sweet as it too. A coppery tang and cinnamon mixed in, an aftertaste of citrus combining into an experience worth bragging about. He thought the idea of his brother being a juice box with a straw in it, and he giggled, almost drunk. What if he made himself a juice box and let Astre drink him in next time? Oh, how wonderful! What about holding hands with sliced palms? Drinking from wounds all over Astre's body, dipping his tongue into the folds of flesh before getting to the main course? How about biting into Astre himself! Letting his teeth do all the work and get into the sweet nectar just beneath the skin of his twin?

Such joy!

Astre just huffed in defeat, quite convinced that this wasn't the only time he needed to go through this. Ciel was the type to never stop doing what he found he liked, especially with Astre.

Such pain...


	25. Suffer, My Dear, Suffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU CAN’T STOMACH ABUSE, LEAVE THIS CHAPTER UNREAD!
> 
> I MEAN IT!
> 
> For the sadists among us, Astre’s time during his stay with Ciel, told request by request separated by _________’s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by SanguineSparrow, you’re welcome.

1\. Drugs that can be injected to cause pain.

____________________

Ciel cooed when he felt his younger brother still, exhaustion finally kicking in. He’s been holding the other boy down for at least an hour now! His brother could sure put up a fight! Astre looked at him with his big, blue eyes, innocent and wronged, and something stirred in Ciel.

Something...dark. Unpleasant, yet intriguing. A perfect solution to his problem.

Never the one to deny his desires, later that day, Ciel asked Undertaker for a special supply of muscle relaxants. A LOT of muscle relaxants. Undisturbed by the red gleam in the older brother’s eyes, Undertaker was fast to get him some from one of their pharmaceutics. Looking at the clear liquid inside of a small syringe, Ciel’s blood started pumping faster from excitement!  
  


He has never truly thought of drugging his brother beyond anesthetics, and the world,of possibilities opened to him made him sing with glee. His smile was wide yet welcoming when he entered his brother’s chambers that night, the same as every other night before and the same as every other night after. Only this time he had a trick up his nightsleeve. Astre’s eyes turned up at him, never even looking at the small bulge in his sleeve, sighing and sitting up, prepared to struggle and squirm in his arms for hours on end.

Ciel climbed onto the bed. Astre looked at him warily, his shoulders up. They were tensed up. Astre’s entire body was tensed up. 

Not anymore, though. He would be limp and lax as a ragdoll by the time Ciel had his new batch ready. He had ordered all sorts of different drugs from Undertaker for the next week. Now to make his brother relax.

He reached out a hand and touched his brother’s face with it with some difficulty, seeing as Astre had backed up as far as he could go. He stroked it quietly, gradually getting closer and closer before bumping their foreheads together playfully, making Astre flinch. He massaged his tensed shoulders. ”Why so tense, brother?” He chuckled, bringing down his brother’s shoulders and nuzzling their cheeks together, filled with endless, ceaseless adoration. Astre’s eyes remained vigilant, yet his shoulders gradually relaxed underneath Ciel’s careful ministrations, he looked to his lap, finally. Ciel let up, sliding out the tip of the syringe amd placing the thing into his hands, ready for use.

”I just can’t relax, Ciel. I miss our home so much.” His brother said, his voice tearing up. Ciel froze, the syringe inches from his neck. He slowly pulled it away and waited for his brother to keep talking, his forehead against his back. ”I miss the library and all the books there. I miss Tanaka, and Pauline and Jean. I miss Mother and Father. I miss,” he sucked in a breath. ”I miss you.”   
  


What? Why...why would he miss Ciel? He waited, but Astre didn’t continue. Ciel sank into his thoughts, his grip on the needle tightening. Why would Astre miss him if he was right there? Wasn’t he? He was the same as before, there was nothing but a period of four years separating him from the him he used to be. What was it about him earlier in life that made Astre miss him so much? He still loved his brother all the same, he still presented him with gifts and presents, he still comforted him after a bad day. Oh, is this about how he is now dead and soulless? Haven’t they gone over this bit before a million times? The only thing separating him from the living was that he needed his blood changed once a week, and that he was more lax!  
  


More lax...relaxed...Ciel looked down at the needle in his hand, conflict arising inside of him. He wondered if a relaxed body also meant a relaxed mind? But it was his little brother...but maybe if he knew how it felt to be numb, maybe he would sympathize with Ciel and become more open to him...?  
  


He looked up to his brother to find guidance, but found his brother to be looking at him already. Or, more specifically, the item in his hand...

They looked into each other’s eyes, and Ciel found what he needed. Lack of understanding and fear because of it. It was perfect! With this, they truly can become alike! He curves his lips, confidence returning. ”You’ll feel a little sting, is all~” he cooed, before taking his brothers arm and sticking the needle in.   
  


His brother abruptly attempted to fling it off, but Ciel’s grip on his arm prevented it narrowly. When he looked up questioningly, he found panic and confusion. ”It’s okay!” He rushed to explain, getting a better grip on his brother’s arm. ” This way we’ll understand each other better!” He said, finally sticking the needle inside a hard-fought-for vein,mandbpushed the mantle.

His brother fought courageously, and for that, he commends him. But the dose he gave him was strong. A whimper sounded, as his brother twitched in his arms, too weak to lift up his own and sit up. Ciel held him through the bitter tears, through the wailing, ”How could you!?” through the accusing, ”You’re a manipulative snake!” through the silence. He stroked his hair from his sweaty forehead, wiping away tears peacefully. His brother sniffled in his arms, giving him one last sorrowful look before his vocal chords stopped working, silencing him at last. Ciel moved to cuddle him, arranging his limp appendages and extremities until Astre was hugging him, reciprocating his want for cuddles at last. Ciel was in Heaven.  
  


For Astre, though...

It was hell. He had just been trying to get his brother to leave him alone, yet now he ended up in such a situation. Tears blurred his vision, making the world hazy. He tried to move his arms and legs in a panic, hysterics almost left him screaming, yet only small, pitiful twitches and a quiet groan were the results of his internal flailing. Astre felt it was harder to breathe, trapped in his own body, so grotesquely twisted by Ciel to fit his every megalomaniacal desire. He felt fire coursing through his veins, numbing every fiber of muscle, every bone until he felt he had nothing at all, where his healthy, well, almost healthy, working appendages were. He felt Ciel squeezing him, and that brought with itself a new sensation. See, the drug hadn’t worked him all out yet, so when Ciel tightened his arms around him affectionately, on the skin-level, he felt nothing, but the muscles deep within his body screamed in distress at the focused sensation where it absolutely shouldn’t be. He sweated a lot, breathibg hard, eyes wide in distress. A fresh wave of tears arrived when Ciel started layering little butterfly kisses all over his face, the feeling of powerlessness reminding him so much of that terrible month...

He couldn’t tell his brother the amount of distress he was dealt, a panicky rhythm to his heart as his skin clammed up in cold sweat and terror coursed though him. He moved his eyes around frantically, looking for any form of escape as Ciel leisurely rolled them onto their sides, kissing him on the mouth, and whispering ”Goodnight”

His brother’s inattention to his distress only magnified it. Despite all his muscles being relaxed, hypertension formed in his head, pounding against his skull as if trying to crack it open. It was too hot underneath the blanket, yet he couldn’t move it off. It was too cold tonight, yet he couldn’t pull the blanket higher. He was completely at Ciel’s mercy. Ciel’s, who was asleep right now. He was left alone in the dark, unable to close his eyes, let alone slerp from how shaken he was.

Ciel...Was this how he felt during those four years they were apart? This powerlessness in his body, mind watching on yet body unable to do a thing, had he also felt it? He would have shaken his head to clear away these thoughts, yet he couldn’t, and so they intruded him ceaselessly, tirelessly. This torture his mind put him through, was it what Ciel felt as well?  
  


And then, on that cold winter night, unwilingly embracing his brother, Astre, for a split second, empathized with Ciel Phantomhive.

This was immediately followed by a sense of inevitable horror creeping up his spine. If this continued on, (Which he suspected would) he might just lose not only his nody, but also his mind to the unbearable numbness.

  
Staring at Ciel’s angelic sleeping face did not help. Astre didn’t want to be charmed by his brother, the very thought put needles into his chest and pushed them in hard. But he still felt that sense of inevitability, and his breathing picked up. He was on the verge of panic attack after panic attack all night long, his nerves shut down yet wound so excruciatingly tight. He was aware that he was slipping, and slipping bad, but all he could think of was incoherent screaming and the dripping of blood from a body down the altar’s side, triggered by being caged in his own body, helpless to do anything but watch as Ciel woke up and smiled, pulling out another syringe.

”Good morning!”

________________

2\. Extreme sleep deprivation.

”Heyyy~ Astreeee~” the elder Phantomhive twin nudged his brother and pouted. The said brother was fast asleep without a care in the world, or for him. Tears pricked in Ciel’s eyes and he whined, head falling against the sleeping twin’s side. It wasn’t fair! Why did Astre sleep and not play with him! He doesn’t need to sleep, and he’s the same as Astre, so why is Astre sleeping?! It made no sense!

He bit at his twin in frustration, teething at his side furiously until he calmed down. The sleeping one’s ribs were now bloody and red, alive and well...Ciel’s lower lip trembled. He pricked his own finger with a tooth, and watched as slimy, sticky grease bubbled up pathetically, his eyes dark and unreadable.   
  


Ha....hahahaha....

He chuckled, bloody tears burning his eyes as he gathered the sleepy body of his younger brother into his arms, nuzzling him. He looked at the red marks again, huffing in frustration. It was Astre’s fault! He made him mad cause he had blood! And he didn’t even have the dignity to be awake to witness his anguish! _~~Inside, Ciel knows his brother is innocent, but he needs an excuse to be with him and punish him and make him feel whole.~~_

If Astre wouldn’t be awake on his own, then Ciel would _make_ him be awake.

The poor child, sleeping innocently, was doomed to a horrible fate without any knowledge of it whatsoever.

The next morning, he was awoken by an excited shake, and with a groan, he opened his eye to look at his twin, who was smiling and i a good mood. Astre sat up, and his mouth instantly got shoved into by a spoon full of pudding. He choked on it, coughing, much to the amusement of his brother who was clapping in glee. The ”younger” brother glared at him thought again of how very childish Ciel was. Always following the first impulse he got until the very end, no regrets at all.

The day passed as was the new normal in his life, laying around in bed all day and trying to work out how many stitches there were in the nightshirt Ciel provided him with, eating and drinking whatever it was Ciel decided to grace him with today, and anticipating for the night to come, so that he can escape back into dreams.

So, when night came, and instead of heavenly, heavenly sleep, he got a metallic collar locked around his neck, he could only stare dumbfounded at Ciel who smiled enthusiastically. ”You’re gonna be awake and stay with me from now on! This collar can detect your heartbeat, so whenever you try to sleep, you get a shock! I got so bored all alone while you were sleeping!” He stuck his tongue out childishly. ”You’re no fun at all when you’re sleeping!”

Astre could only stare at him with his mouth open in silent horror.

Did Ciel even grasp at what he was doing?! He knew that the boy was childish, sure, but _this?_ This complete and utter denial of Astre’s right as a human to get a healthy amount of sleep, especially now that he was going through this amount of distress? The only escape he had from this hell was his dreams...

”Ciel.” He said, and his brother blinked at him. ”Ciel, i know that you might not understand it, but i _need_ to sleep. I mean, i actually _need_ it. Like i need food and water, like you need blood. So.” He tugged at the collar. ”Can you take this off? It’s night time now, _sleeping_ time.” Ciel looked at him, before his stare suddenly got very dark, and Astre could anticipate the slap before it came. ”You think you can wriggle your way out of this? Out of being with me all day and all night? We are the same, and if i don’t need to sleep, then you don’t either.” He snapped, his teeth bared. Astre looked at him challengingly.

”That’s because i’m alive, and you’re— ” ”Alive as well!” Ciel snapped, making him shut up. ”I already told you. We. Are. The. _Same._ ” Astre gulped, suddenly all too aware of how deep his brother was in the depths of delusion, and how the metal around his neck started buzzing as his eyes drooped in an attempt to escape reality and sink away.

White hot electricity snapped at his most sensitive area, and he shrieked, twitching as his body got electrocuted. He panted, realizing he had dozed off, and the detector had seen it. He glanced at Ciel, lips trembling. He was scared. Really, really scared. He knew he couldn’t control staying awake, not when his body and mind were both so exhausted and in need of rest. Not being awake would mean getting shocked in a place that might kill him from too much voltage. Being shocked would mean he would get even more exhausted.

He could see the beginnings of a vicious cycle start to form, and he made one last plea to his brother, trying to make him understand what he was doing. ”Please, Ciel. I can’t stay awake, i don’t wanna be shocked.” He trembled genuinely out of fear. ”Please.”

The Earl looked at him coldly, crushing the last of his hopes. ”Then you just need to learn. I have duties, so i’ll leave you to start practicing.” As Ciel got up and walked to the door, opening it and then glancing back at his miserable younger brother. ”It’ll be alright.” He whispers gently, to the unhearing child. ”Once this is over, we can be together all the time.” He then slowly closes the door. The click of the lock signals for the locked boy’s tears to start streaming.

There’s no way out.

Every single second of the next night, which was meant to be sleeping time, was torture instead. It was his body desperately trying to make him sleep, and his mind franctically screaming not to, only to both be shocked still by the metallic collar. Every hour he spent curled in pain and hurt instead comfort and sleepiness made him go even more crazy. He banged his head against the headboard of the bed, screaming silently to the pillow to muffle his agony. His body was wracked with tiredness, begging to _sleep sleep sleep_.

He somehow managed to survive the ordeal, followed in the morning by Ciel opening the door to find him panting on the floor, twitching at every touch and whining if he even came close, his body all too sensitive and vulnerable from the lack of rest.   
  


Ciel frowned, and decided that it was the first day, so of course Astre wouldn’t be used to it yet. So he fed him some breakfast, and they spent the day together as always. Again, when it was night time, Astre made another plead for him to reconsider, but Ciel was too far gone to listen.

Again, Astre tossed and turned, never finding solace, getting shocked at least ten times during the entirety of the night. In the morn, Ciel once again came back, and once again fed him breakfast, which the little brother ate with a surprising eagerness, but was shocked to see his brother get shocked in the middle of it, the franctic twitching of his body making it impossible to touch him. Once it subsided, Astre tried explaining to him that no, he didn’t fall asleep because he was bored of him, but instead he fell asleep because he hadn’t gotten sleep for almost two nights. Ciel didn’t listen, too angry and hurt at the very prospect of his brother ever being bored of him. He questioned if Astre forgot the promise they made as children, but Astre couldn’t remember anything beside a hazy fog. Ciel started to notice little signs. If there was a cup of tea in front of Astre, instead of grasping the cup handle, he only managed to sink his fingers into the hot tea and flinch back, unsure of why the cup handle switched places. When Ciel asked him to be polite, and not disturb the tableware, Astre started crying and got mad and said some mean things to Ciel, things he would _never_ say if he was himself. It was as if he couldn’t register how much of an idiot he was being by challenging Ciel, the Lord Phantomhive, his big brother. He couldn’t tell that Ciel was mad at him, insisting only that he needed to sleep and telling Ciel to leave him alone.

Ciel needed to say something twice as loud to make sure Astre heard him, because if he did it at a normal voice, he wouldn’t react. As punishment for acting out, he raised the voltage of the metal collar. Immediately after, Astre dozed off unconsciously and was awoken by _pain_. He started crying, and ignored Ciel for the rest of the day, before making a quiet plea, again, asking him to reconsider and let him free. Ciel thought of how Astre had acted during the day, and, as punishment for being mean, he declined, much to the despair of the other boy.

Another night of misery and despair, Astre gnawing on his pillow for hours, even biting himself to keep from being shocked now that the voltage was so high. He started seeing black figures at the corners of his vision.

When Ciel came back, he was shocked, to say the least. His brother’s bangs were a mess, his skin and unnaturally pale colour, and the bags underneath his eye almost resembling a raccoon. He was twitching and breathing fast, looking around him franctically, and whimpering whenever a shadow so much as shifted. ”What hallened to you?” The elder asked, sititng near the trembling, shaking form of his brother, and reaching out to pet him and tell him it’s okay, he’s here now, when Astre bit him. It hurt a little, but what Ciel cared about more was the look in Astre’s eyes. It was feral, animalistic. When he looked at Ciel, he only saw a threat, an enemy. An obstacle towards his goal, to _sleep_. When Ciel attempted to give him his breakfast, Astre volatilely flung it away and refused to even consider eating anything unless he got to sleep and the threatening being to go away.

He didn’t see a big brother who cared about him and loved him more than anything, he saw a _threat._ Ciel’s eyes started tearing up, now starting to wonder, what if he was in the wrong? What if his brother truly did need sleep? What if they weren’t the same? His heart gave a shock at that, not unlike what Astre went through each time his body uncontrollably fell asleep. What if they were not the same? What a mind-bending question. It brought the very meaning for Ciel’s existence on full display. He was vulnerable, and alone and cold. But what was he doing to his brother? He looked at the shivering wreck of a human being, and his heart ached at the sight of tear tracks beneath those blackened, swollen under-eyes, trained on him in a look so wild and distressed it made Ciel think of the little bunnies he saw being eaten alive by a wolf one time. The squeals they made never left his mind, and neither would the sight of his brother’s helpless, tired eyes.

It reminded him of them so much he got scared himself, terrified, even. He left his brother in that room, alone, with shadows dancing around the corners of his eyes drawing nearer and nearer towards the center, becoming more vivid and real. He reflected on himself, and realized that he had been absolutely, irrevocably _horrible_ to his brother. All of this over what, him being dead? Astre being alive and well and safe? Wasn’t that exactly what he was aiming for?! He couldn’t understand his past motivations, but he knew one thing that had to be done.

Astre’s relief was immeasurable once Ciel finally took off his collar, with an apology in his eyes long enough he could never bring it to words. It was an admittance, he was wrong and Astre was right. He held him and sobbed, ”i’m sorry. I’m sorry!” But all Astre could see and hear were the sounds of crashing waves. The bitterness of salt spread into his nose, despite being inside.

Where Ciel couldn’t see, Astre’s eyes were unfocused and dull, looking towards a figure. Black, midnight hair in curly waves, bright green eyes and a fair complexion. She was so vivid in detail, her bloodied, torn dress and the scratched and gashes all over her torso were red and black, dripping with water. She was hazy, and dream-like, but he felt her touch all the same when a small hand, missing many fingers, came to rest upon his own. He heard her all the same, when a red mouth, spilling over with water and rocks and blood, teeth broken and grinded to pieces from the impact, and the years rotting in salt water, opened and whispered.

_”Sleep.”_

Everything faded to black. Ciel noticed his brother suddenly falling limp, and seeing his eye closed and at peace brought nothing short of euphoria to him. He cuddled them together, deciding that he could live with only 16 hours of his brother, if only he got better from this.

Astre’s dreams were full of the sea, and blood and Emma’s pretty eyes dulling slowly as she drowned, impaled on a rock facing the sunset.

But at least they were dreams. 

________________

3\. Sensory Deprivation

"Ciel, what are you--" "mmphh!"

Ciel had to admit, even though he loved his brother's voice, taking it away from him felt good. He tied up the gag extra tight, and contemplatively listened to the outraged squeals of his twin. The other boy was chained to the headpost of the bed by his wrists, and Ciel watched for long minutes as the pretty hands of his twin clenched and unclenched, wishing he coukd eat them up.

Astre looked at his mad older brother, biting down on the gag and whining quietly. He couldn't speak! What was the point of this!? He grumbled and huffed at the older brother's tender look. Mild annoyance shot through him, but nothing too major was harmed.

Ciel's small finger ran up and down his cheek, the cold feeling making him shiver. He looked at his twin, wary and cautious. This decision seemed to be not in his favor, seeing as the next thing Ciel did was pull out a black, satin cloth out of his chest pocket. Astre's eyes widened and he renewed his struggles, whining and yelling through his gag. 

Ciel tutted. "You're always so ridiculous over the smallest things. Like that time in the carriage when i kissed you and you started crying 'cause our parents were close." He talked while straddling Astre, and holding up his chin, wondering how to best obscure his sight.

Astre's eyes watered, both at the prospect of bring blinded, and at the memory. They had been on a shopping trip, and absolutely out of nowhere, Ciel had leaned to hug him and kiss him while their parents were merely metres away, chatting. He had been confused and distressed, because at that time, he considered those things privacy things, stuff you don't do outside the bedroom. Ciel was quick to flip his thought procesd, but still.

Ciel noticed the small tears, and, very helpfully, leaned down to lick them away. Astre whimpered at the cold, slimy touch. His older brother was flushed for some reason when he came back up, a reason Astre didn't mind not knowing.

The Earl finally decided how to blindfold him properly, and tugged him up. He delicately wrapped the thing around his eyes, taking the time to brush his bangs out from underneath it, tying it up tight behind his head, just like how his eyepatches felt.

Astre went very, very quiet, flitting his eyes around in the darkness. Whatever this material was, it was soft, slippery, and absolutely light-consuming. He could see nothing but black and dark no matter which way he looked, which was why he gasped when a hand came to his cheek to stroke it tenderly. He whimpered when a small pair of lips kissed his forehead. "Oh, Astrey." His twin's warm voice floated through the darkness to him. "You should see the visage you make right now. It's so beautiful."

Indeed, it looked beautiful. Ciel blushed and took Astre's hand to squeeze it above his head. Milky, creamy skin flushed prettily, tousled, blue hair spilling out around his head. Pretty, dainty hands tied up tight above his head, and silken cloths inside his mouth abd across his eyes. The tiny sounds he made were absolutely _delicious_. Ciel trembled, wondering how far he could take this, how much he could do before his brother broke.

Getting an idea, Ciel leaned up to kiss the cute fingers as a bye bye, getting up to het a few things.

Astre whimpered in confusion. Where was Ciel going? It's not that he misses him, but instead he would like to know what he was preparing to do before doing it, probably to himself. Astre quieted down, and felt inexplicably bored. There wasn't really much to do here, other than bite down on the gag and clench his hands. His mind, his traitorous, fickle mind, started wondering when Ciel would come back. He cried out, biting down on the gag harder than ever. He's been betrayed too many times for his own _mind_ to do it also. He growled, finally seeing the endgame, the result for which Ciel subjects him to this horror at all.

That stupid, irrevocable need to have his "love" "reciprocrated". Astre rolled his head back, feeling the oncoming migraine already starting.

At the very moment he started contemplating on rubbing his wrists together harshly enough to draw blood and using that to slip out of the handcuffs, Ciel skips into the room and Astre freezes. He makes a tentative half-noise, almost questioning. Ciel smiles tenderly where he can't see it.

"I brought something new for us!" He explained helpfully as he flopped on the bed and dragged his nail up the inside of Astre's thigh, making him twitch and shriek through his gag. Ciel smiled terribly, opening a packet of unknown origin, pulling out what seems to be some sort of wax?

The meaning became clear once he took his brother's chin, the littler one gasping at the sudden contact, and stuffed them into the seashell-looking ears until they were covered. 

Astre cried out, but only heard the noise very faintly. He heard everything very faintly, and he started breathing faster, panicking. Even that was muffled and hazy to his ears, and if it were not for the feeling, he wouldn't have known if he were breathing at all. Ciel traced his fingertip down his ribs, and suddenly Astre got overtaken by a fear. What if Ciel took away his feeling, too?

Almost as if reading his mind, Ciel leaned down and kissed the gag covering Astre's mouth tenderly, stroking his trembling chest. Astre felt a cold breath filtering in and out of Ciel's mouth at their close proximity. 

And, despite everything, despite all of it, he felt a small tinge of warmth in his chest, knowing that even when he was so disgustingly vulnerable, Ciel was oh so gentle.

The feeling got chased away by a prick at his neck, but the brief time of it's existence made Astre _horrified._

Only then did he get even more horrified at the fiery feeling spreading through his body. Ciel pricked hil with a syringe! Who knows what's in there! But, instead of the dreaded numbness, his body started tingling, from the tips of his fingers to the nails on his toes. He curled them both up in response to the strange electricity curling inside of him. He let out a shaky moan, muffled by the gag, feeling as though there were ants scuttering under him wherever his body touched the bedding. He arched his back to get away from the feeling.

Ciel gupled down his saliva, entranced by the sight before him. His sweet brother, panting and moaning, arching his back and trembling. He dropped the sensation enhancer in his hand back to the medicinal box, and started crawling firward, until he was over his brother, knees at his hips and hands by his shoulders. He was trembling himself, excitement, nervousness and anticipation running through him. He steeled his nerves, and, tentatively, ran his hand against the soft skin on his brother's stomach.

Astre suddenly felt _fire_ on his belly. A licking, hot, burning fire. It enmeshed deep into his flesh and i to his bones, making him clench his tummy and tremble the flesh undermeath the fire. He let out a choked moan, his terror of not seeing, hearing or speaking not doing anything to help settle him. He whimpered as the fire continued down to his lower abdomen.

Ciel was surprised and excited when Astre went limp and jerked underneath his hands, a confused moan slipping past the gag. Heart pounding, he caressed every part of the torso if his brother, and then legs, then arms, then face.

Through this all Astre felt like he was burning and covered in acid, a greasy, sticky feeling following wherever he was touched. When Ciel finally placed an innicent kiss to his cheek, Astre all but screamed. It was so hot and so cold and so in between he just wanted it to stop stop stop.

Ciel noticed tears sliding down the blindfold, his brother whimpering, and concluded that this was all he could handle for tonight. He stood up, and pat his feverish, cobfused brother on the head, cooing "good boy". When he was by the door, he turned around and blew a kiss, and it made him feel all tingly and warm inside.

Astre was also feeling tingly and warm, except that instead of pleasant tingliness, it was bullet ants biting through his skin, and instead of nice warmth, it was a raging inferno heating his insides to liquid. Left all alone like that, Astre could only pray silently to whatever God was out there to end his suffering and kill him already.

When no God answered, his thoughts drifted. It was just like that month, even if they prayed every night, his twin was still taken from him.

He wondered about the hands touching him, and his traitorous, terrible body trembled, and his betrayal-prone, horrible mind made a question 

_When is Ciel coming back?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if this crushed dreams about them being together 🥲
> 
> I’m going to update this chapter one by one to adhere to the scenarios described in SanguineSparrow’s comment. Now i’m going to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Did i get your gears turning? Gave you an idea about the Yandereness of Real!Ciel? 
> 
> Feel free to comment and request stuff!


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